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side - sim: A Secret is a Prison

Posted Oct. 1, 2022, 12:40 a.m. by Commander Roman Alden (First Officer & Chief Science Officer) (Lucas Foxley)

Posted by Ensign Rand Farquharson (Yeoman First Class) in side - sim: A Secret is a Prison

Posted by Commander Roman Alden (First Officer & Chief Science Officer) in side - sim: A Secret is a Prison

Posted by Ensign Rand Farquharson (Yeoman First Class) in side - sim: A Secret is a Prison
Posted by… suppressed (3) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
Roman pulled her into a full hug, pressing her to him, trying to help calm her down. Usually, his hugs seemed to help a lot. It was hard to understand her, he was pretty sure he had the right idea though and it made him feel awful. Randy had advised Roman multiple times how to handle her panic attacks. He needed to wait until it was over, she wasn’t in a space to think rationally. “Everyone needs you, the crew has been asking when you’ll be back for weeks. And you know I need you more than anyone… You’re not a liability at all.” If only he’d just told her. He waited with her a few minutes, hugging her tightly. They could have a more productive discussion when she wasn’t in full panic mode. For now he just needed to help her calm down and feel a little better.

~ Roman

She found herself hidden against his chest, pressed, squeezed, up against him. She actually fought against him, struggled and tried to push away from him so she could run. His words didn’t really register anymore. She felt the rumble as the air and sound moved through is lungs, but she didn’t process any of it. He hugged her tightly as if he could keep all the swirling confused broken pieces of her in place. Warmth and strength seeped into her and she finally stilled, but her breathe didn’t seem to be able to slow. Her heart pounded painfully and every so often she shook, trembled. Her chest hurt painfully and it scared her to the point she started to cry and couldn’t stop and it only made everything worse. The only good thing was she wasn’t sobbing because her breath wouldn’t come easily enough to let her.

Rand

Roman spoke soothingly, not about the lie or anything else of importance, just using the familiarity of his voice to help calm her. It worried him when she fought but then she stopped and instead began to cry, so he held on. He would wait all night if he had to, for her to calm. However long it took.

~ Roman

It seemed to take forever before she could clearly mutter, “My chest hurts, I can’t breathe.” Which oddly enough meant she was doing better, but she sounded terrified. She was trying to bury into him, as she told him that quietly over and over. After nearly an hour she finally grew quiet, except for the labored breaths, listening to his voice.
Roman might have thought she was asleep, and maybe she was, but still struggling. However the worst seemed to be past, now she was exhausted and hurting and confused.

Rand

“It’s okay, just breathe,” Roman said softly, still holding her. He knew it meant she was doing better, because now she could breathe well enough to say she couldn’t breathe. He leaned against the bed’s headboard. If she was asleep, that was okay. He wasn’t interested in sleeping himself anyway, certainly not now when he wasn’t sure she’d be there if he woke up. Though the worst was over, he kept waiting. Either she was asleep, or tired and probably not ready to talk about it.

~ Roman

She tried. Rand tried to breathe, she wanted it to be okay. It didn’t feel like it would be. How could it be okay when she had no place here? When she couldn’t do her job? Everyone had a place and purpose on a starship, but they had learned to function without her. For a short time was a small thing, expected, but long term…meant she was unnecessary. Leaning back against the headboard was the best thing Roman could have done then. It took some of the pressure off her chest, relaxed muscle and limbs. It let her breath ease and in turn her heart slowed and didn’t hurt so much. Rand couldn’t have slept. She was exhausted and desperately wanting to be numb.

The other thing leaning back did was let Roman see his side table. On it was a small black ring box he had never seen..there was a note with his name on it.

Rand

Roman didn’t notice the box right away. He was too relieved she seemed to be relaxing. He felt her muscles loosen and her breaths slow, coming easier. It took a few minutes before he looked over, still waiting for her to be completely calm. He kept one arm around her and used the other to reach over and pick up the note.

~ Roman

Rand felt him move slightly, and her breath hitched. Her hand gripped his shirt. Was he eager to go back to work? Did he hate being here with her. She made her hand relax, not hold on, to breathe slowly even though it hurt.

The note was hand written on a beautiful real ivory linen paper. Rand’s script was elegant and traditional, a lost art form. Written in Gaelic:
You are the star of each night,
You are the brightness of every morning,
You are the story of each guest,
You are the report of every land.
No evil shall befall you, on hill nor bank,
In field or valley, on mountain or in glen.
Neither above, nor below, neither in sea,
Nor on shore, in skies above,
Nor in the depths.
You are the kernel of my heart,
You are the face of my sun,
You are the harp of my music,
You are the crown of my company

Inside the box was a ring, 2/3rds the width of a normal man’s ring. It was made of black meteorite with a single sapphire blue diamond set into the band.

Rand

Roman rubbed her back lightly. He wasn’t going anywhere. Rand’s script would impress his mother and that was a feat indeed. And the paper! It must have been impossible to get this on board. He looked down at Rand after he read the poem, an incredibly touching piece written in her language, Gaelic. He had to reach again to grab the small ring box, tightening his other arm around her, and then when he was settled back in place, opened the box. Inside was a black ring, stone. Meteorite. Set into the band was a beautiful blue diamond, the color of sapphire. His breath caught, he was surprised, and he looked down at her again, forgetting momentarily she might still be too panicked and distracted to answer. “You got me a ring?” Roman asked, voice a little breathless.

~ Roman


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