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side - sim: Lost in the Dark

Posted Dec. 4, 2022, 12:11 p.m. by Commander Roman Alden (First Officer & Chief Science Officer) (Nicole Cline)

Posted by Ensign Rand Farquharson (Yeoman First Class) in side - sim: Lost in the Dark

Posted by Commander Roman Alden (First Officer & Chief Science Officer) in side - sim: Lost in the Dark

Posted by Ensign Rand Farquharson (Yeoman First Class) in side - sim: Lost in the Dark
Posted by… suppressed (5) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
It was a hard night for Roman. The meds completely wore off a couple hours later. Roman no longer needed the tranq to stabilize his heart, his daily heart meds were enough for that and he was well enough to be off the booster, but it was that and the drowziness-inducing nausea meds that made it easier to get back to sleep. And the nightmare med that kept him from waking up repeatedly in terror.

It might have been longer before he started having a problem, except he’d had that issue with sickbay today, and things like that always set off his nightmares. The fact that it was still around the time of the anniversary of the attack, made it worse. It was like they came back with a vengeance. It was like the night Rand had given him the first dose of the nightmare meds. He was shaking in his sleep, occasionally crying out softly, his shirt becoming damp with his sweat. His breathing was fitful with fear. When he woke from it, he shot up, his breath catching, and it took a moment before he was calm enough to realize he wasn’t there. Then he turned to see if he had woken Rand. He hoped he hadn’t, she needed her sleep and he still felt bad he wasn’t able to go visit her in sickbay. Even now that idea made his stomach flip.

~ Roman

Rand didn’t wake. Which was abnormal, usually she did. The meds prevented her from dreaming, but it didn’t stop the intense sadness. When he sat up her hand reached for him and when she didn’t find him, she moaned sadly. Her body was simply to exhausted and deprived to let her really wake up.

Rand

Roman was glad Rand didn’t wake. When her hand reached for him he reached down and held her hand. He had a hard time going back to sleep. After he’d held her hand for a while, he rolled over and curled up and tried to sleep. He couldn’t. The image of the nightmare felt burned into the back of his eyelids. After another hour, he started to cry quietly. Finally he fell back to sleep, sometime after that. The first morning alarm woke him out of a second, intense nightmare.

~ Roman

Rand woke with the alarm, but she was groggy and sluggish. Her body still needed sleep. She rolled over feeling him startle and the ragged breathing. “Hmmm…Ro…Roman?” She pushed herself up on her elbow. “Wha…what’s wrong?”

Rand

“I’m okay.” Roman’s voice was shaky and unsteady. He reached over and squeezed her hand. His palm was sweaty. His breathing was shaky and fast and though he was trying to calm himself, it wasn’t working. He wanted her to relax and sleep but instead he ended up pulling her into a hug, pressing her against him as he started to cry again. He tried not to make it obvious he was. “Sorry. You should be sleeping…”

~ Roman

Rand blinked several times and yawned before suddenly being pulled into a tight hug. His voice was strained and his breathing was weird. She tried to sit up and look at him. But he was holding her really tight. She thought it might be his heart, but pressed tight to him she could hear it beating in his chest - fast, but not irregular, not labored. “All I do is sleep, it’s okay. What’s wrong?”

Rand

Roman didn’t answer for a long moment. He just hugged her, his head resting against hers. The break from the nightmares had made them so much worse - almost like new. It felt cruel to give him a break at all. He cried against her, and then took a deeper, shaky breath. “S-sorry…” He tried to breathe for a moment but he still couldn’t manage to calm himself. “N-nightmares.”

~ Roman

Nightmares? Rand hugged him tight and tried to look up at him, but gave up and just snuggled into him. “Didn’t you take your medications? They were helping.”

Rand

Roman shook his head against her. “No, when I found out you didn’t page me to get you from sickbay…” He paused slightly, it wasn’t like he’d have been able to get her anyway. Unless it was from the door to sickbay. “I headed straight here and went to sleep.”

~ Roman

“Oh…” it was her fault. She had made him miss so much, she didn’t want to take him away from what he loved anymore. Plus he didn’t come back, so she just assumed. “I…you had already missed so much time already. I’m sorry.” She hugged him. “Do you want me to get Randy?”

Rand

“I-I, um…” He didn’t know how to tell her about what happened in sickbay, but he did want to tell her, it would explain why he hadn’t shown up. He didn’t know what to answer about calling Randy, either. There wasn’t anything Randy could do but give him meds. He knew how the day would go if he didn’t: the not eating, the working, the memories following him everywhere. He really, really didn’t want to go back to that. But he wasn’t sure he could do the meds. Finally he sighed, “I don’t know.”

~ Roman

Rand didn’t know what to do. The last time Roman said he didn’t know what to do and Rand made a decision… Roman had been really angry with her. Just thinking about it made her want to be sick. She couldn’t do that again. She didn’t even try to convince him. She wasn’t sure she was supposed to. So she just let him hold her and she hugged him back, staying silent.

Rand

She could feel him still shaking against her. He held her quietly for several minutes. Then he loosened his grip on her a little bit so he could look down at her. “What do you think I should do?” He thought he knew what she’d say, but he wanted to hear her say it.

~ Roman


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