About the USS Constellation

Welcome to the USS Constellation the one ship in the club were you get let your hair down and be as wild and strange as you want. Serving as the clubs one and only Comedy ship the Connie as it is best known as is the place to be if you have the thrill for all things strange.

Captains Yacht
Captain's collar Brian Richards as Captain Zarcal

Welcome to us USS Constellation! I'm the loony that someone at HQ thought should lead this fine vessel! Catch me on discord with the name Capt_Giraffe (or anything Giraffe related really). If you would like to join this fun house, shoot me an email or DM.

XO's Hot Tub
Cmdr's collar Melissa Aragon as Commander Valentina Bellini

So glad to be here. My door is always open. I'm on Discord as "LlewelPendragon#7076". Umm... why is there jello in my bathroom sink?

GM's Dice Rolls
Fleet Captain's collar Russell Watt as GM Eric the Half a Trib

Sim Overview: So, to the new Captain and Crew of the Connie, you find yourselves at Black Rock in Fleet 6. The Connie has come in for a spring clean and to get the fuzzy dice on the bridge refluffed. There are a pair of interesting Starfleet officers there, and according to your Chief Engineering Blobs, the Tweedle siblings, they are two of the members of the Ministry of Silly Warps.
A part of the Engineering Department of Starfleet that is well hidden and for them to be here … means the Connie are going to be in for something completely different for the upcoming mission … what is in store for the Connie?
Why not join and find out for yourselves and experience the madness that is Eric the Half Trib first hand. Currently planning the mission, and don’t be surprised if there are constitutional peasants, knights that say ni, lumberjacks, spam loving Vikings or dead parrots along for the flight.
Just don’t forget, Eric is not the messiah, just a very naughty GM.

Status Alert


Engineer's Tool Chest
Gold Lt jg's collar Chief Engineer: Russell Watt as LieutenantThe Tweedle Sibling Blobs

Coming soon

Medical's Hypospray Cupboard
Teal Lt jg's collar Chief Medical Officer: Crissy N as Lieutenant Cecil Smyth

Coming soon

Science's Scanny Thing
Blue Lt jg's collar Chief Science Officer: Ben Simons as Lieutenant Byrnarterro Ch'riaqer

Coming soon

Security's Weapons Closet
Gold Lt jg's collar Chief of Security: Rusty Boshankles as Lieutenant Drake Burcham

Coming soon

Small Pet Emporium
Gold Lt jg's collar Chief of Pets and 2nd Officer: Jennifer Ward as Lieutenant Commander Brenna Neenna Atoded

Coming soon

Counsellor's Nook
Blue Lt's Collar Ship's Counsellor: Jake Ridgley as Lieutenant Asher Miller

I can't promise to fix all your problems but I can promise you won't have to face them alone

Ship's Wheelhouse
Gold Lt jg's collar Chief of Helmsperson Training and Further Education Christopher Logan as Lieutenant (j.g.)Arriana Rabb

Come to the holodeck and I’ll set up a simulation for you

Behind the GM's Screen!

We've docked to take onboard the representatives from the Ministry Of Silly Warps!.
The Captain may or may not have programed all the replicators to only dispense baked goods from now on...
Don't forget your mandatory physicals!
We have a brand new Counselor! Get your head checked out and bring a knife!

Posting Limits
  • Command Staff: 5 days
  • Department Heads: 7 days
  • Junior Officers and Swings: 10 days

If you ever need an LOA then please notify the Captain or First Officer

Useful Links

Ship Specifications

Other Useful Links

Current Vacancies

Department Heads:

  • None!

Junior Officers:

  • Engineering
  • Medical
  • Science
  • Security
  • Swings

If you are interested in joining the Constellation then please contact the Captain or First Officer

MOTD designed by Sharon Miller. Last updated 13 November 2020

Rank Character Position Species Age Height Weight User Status
Captain Zarcal Person Who Runs The Ship (CO) Zaranite 77 5'11" 144lbs Brian Richards OK (4)
Commander Valentina Bellini Person Who Keeps The CO In Line (XO) Human 31 5' 9" 195 Melissa Aragon OK (3)
Lieutenant Chief of Keeping Our Brains Healthy (CNS)
Lieutenant Commander Brenna Neenna Atoded Chief of Pets & 2nd Officer (COP) Betazoid 29 5'5" 140 Jennifer Ward OK (4)
Lieutenant Andromeda DeLion Chief of Keeping Our Bodies Healthy (CMO) Human 40 4'11" 127 lbs Leonora V OK (4)
Ensign Laurali Breeden Body Fixer Upper (BFU) Human 26 5'3" 105 Tyra Schroll AWOL (42)
Lieutenant Dum and Dee Tweedle Chief of Keeping The Ship Together (CE) anthropomorphic blobs Unknown 1.05m/2.39m 305kg/40kgs Russell Watt AWOL (12*)
Lieutenant Drake Burcham Chief of Keeping The Ship Safe (COS) Human 31 5 feet 10 inches 190 lbs Rusty Boshankles OK (2)
Lieutenant Junior Grade Arriana Rabb Chief of Helmsperson Training and Further Education (CHTFE) Human 21 5'5" 120 lbs Christopher Logan LOA 2021-05-01 (16)
Chief Petty Officer Tony Ship's Work Crew Never heard of 'em Who's asking? Unnecessary Big enough William Deaton OK (1*)
Gamemaster Eric, the half a Trib GamesMaster Tribble 27, I'm not old Roundish How Rude Russell Watt AWOL (12*)

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Version 1.12.4