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Its ... Time for Something Completely Different - the new Sim

Posted Nov. 11, 2020, 5:15 p.m. by Gamemaster Eric, the half a Trib (GamesMaster) (Russell Watt)

Intro: A Gentleman dressed in a bowtie, tweed tuxedo, bracers, top hat, sandles with socks and trousers walks onto the stage pushing on old style overhead projector (OHP) ahead of him. Already, a blackboard and projector screen were set up on the screen as was a podium with microphone. He plugs the OHP in to an electrical socket and confirms that the OHP turns on and off. He then goes to the blackboard and writes in large impressive letters
I AM AN IMPORTANT FUTURIST
followed by
USS CONSTELLATION.

Turning the OHP on and not realising he’s covered up one overhead transparency (OHT) with another one, the result being a mess of mostly black, he returns to his podium and says in a voice closer to Rowan Atkinson as Black Adder as opposed to Brian Blessed, “Are we ready, Master Eric? We are? Good! Let’s begin then. Black Rock, 2396, the Romulans are still in turmoil. The Klingons … are doing whatever Klingons do. The Pakleds … does anyone really care about the Pakleds? Well, I do. But, as I was saying, the Romulans are still in turmoil, and the ship the USS Constellation is returning to Fleet 6 HQ following a mission in which they lost their captain and a number of their crew through the looking glass. And their fluffy dice in the bridge lost their fluffiness and need to be refluffed. But why, oh why would they return to Fleet 6 HQ at Black Rock? What possibly could make them think that going anywhere near a place that housed two members of the highly secretive ‘Ministry of Silly Warps’ from the Starfleet Corps of Engineers? What designs do the ‘Ministry of Silly Warps’ have on the USS Constellation? And is it true that Fleet Command staff truly lost a game of poker to the two gentlemen from the ‘Ministry of Silly Warps’ with the stakes being ‘the right to install a partially tested new warp drive system into any ship called USS Constellation when it came in for repairs, fluffy dice refluffing and crew replacement.”

“Fear not, for I am an important futurist, I have over 100 OHTs to show you and this is the USS Constellation!”

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