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Side Sim - Before the Party... XO checks in on Engineering

Posted Nov. 19, 2020, 6:48 a.m. by Commander Valentina Bellini (XO) (Melissa Aragon)

Posted by Lieutenant Andromeda DeLion (Chief Medical Officer) in Side Sim - Before the Party… XO checks in on Engineering

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Dum and Dee Tweedle (Chief Engineer) in Side Sim - Before the Party… XO checks in on Engineering

Posted by Commander Valentina Bellini (aCO) in Side Sim - Before the Party… XO checks in on Engineering
Posted by… suppressed (3) by the Post Ghost! 👻

Having heard of the new pair of engineers that had arrived, Valentina was anxious to meet them. Their species was one she hadn’t had contact with before, so her curiosity was as high as it could be. Anthropomorphic beings were still relatively new in the Federation and these were the first she had ever heard of being assigned to a ship in space. Excited and curious, she stepped into engineering and looked around for the new dual Chief Engineers.

Commander Valentina Bellini
Executive Officer

bump 10.14.20

OOC: Thank you Meli.

The Tweedle siblings - were currently involved in an improvement to the central chair on the bridge of the ship. The ‘pool table’ in the middle of Main Engineering had 3d schematics of their ‘improved’ design and the two blobs - nutty, brown and opaque Dum and translucent Dee were pointing at it and discussing the plans for it to the Engineering officers near them.

“It needs a glitter release device,” Dum rumbled.

“Indeed it does, Dum,” Dee agreed, “but is that more or less important than the disco ball and laser lights? Without the disco ball, the crew won’t know that the glitter is about to be released, aand without the lights, the glitter won’t sparkle properly.”

“But without the glitter, there’ll be no need to have either the disco ball or the laser lights, as there’ll be nothing for the crew to see, and the crew might think that the disco ball means they have to dance, or get me to dance,” Dum said, “really, it is like the peanut butter and the jam, does the peanut butter go on the bread first with the jam on top, or does the jam go on the bread and the peanut butter goes on the jam. And does the bread need butter or margarine before either gets spread on the bread?”

“We really should have had our other siblings with us, I guess, Dou (the bread blob) and Dem (the butter blob) would be able to assist us with these discussions,” Dee said.

Dum said, “Right Ensigns, you and you, work on the glitter dispensing, and you and you work on the laser lights and disco ball,” the ensigns so ordered did as commanded.

“Now, about the XO’s hot tub modifications …” Dee said, and then seemed to notice the XO for the first time, “excuse us, Commander, we’re just seeing to improvements to ship equipment, how may we assist you?”

The two blobs turned their attention to the XO, the 3ddesign of what seemed to be a hot tub over the Engineering ‘pool table’.

  • Dum and Dee Tweedle
    Co Chief Engineers

Valentina laughed and shook her head. “Please, save the hottub for someone else. I would prefer not to have one in my quarters, if it’s all the same to you. Though, to make up for it, I would very much appreciate a special vacuum bot that specializes in glitter removal. Do you think you could come up with that? Perhaps something that can also clean up jello. I think that would be far more appropriate use of such wonderful and creative talents. Don’t you?” She nodded to them both respectfully.

“Actually I just came up to see how you two were doing. I realize it’s been a hard few days and I wanted to make sure everyone was all right.” She clasped her hands before her, a smile warm and sincere on her face. Seeing them had been a shock, to be sure, but now she was used to seeing them and also used to the double speak as they seemed to know one anothers’ thoughts and actions. Though, she had to admit to herself, the idea of there being another set of twins, quadruplets, made her stomach hitch a bit.

Valentina
XO/aCO

Dum and Dee looked at each other at that point and Dee pushed the buttons to dissipate the 3d model of the hot tub above the pool table.

“Apart from the crew who insist on calling us ‘brothers’, all is going well for us,” Dum rumbled, “the Engineers are hard working, and they seem to be keen for us to sit on that chair over there, they don’t seem to understand that due to our amorphous blob nature that sitting is not something we can do. It also seems that there is something rubbery beneath the cushion on top of the chair, but we are unable to dispose of it, and our engineers are refusing to do so for us. We don’t understand why. It seems they have the correct appendages to do so, and that chair seems to be the same as the others, but for that rubber thing beneath the cushion on it. Why do you think that’s the case? Is the chair dangerous? Also, when we hold meetings, no one has EVER sat in that chair. We’ve scanned it, it all looks normal, but if so why would our staff prefer to stand instead of use that chair when we have staff meetings?” Dum seemed to be growing agitated.

Dee then said, “would we be within our rights to command one of the Junior Engineers on board to sit on that chair, during out meetings, Commander? If there is something wrong with the chair, shouldn’t it be attended to and fixed?”

  • Dum and Dee Tweedle, Co Chief Engineers

Valentina listened to the lament about the chair and moved towards it. “My guess…” she lifted the cushion. Sure enough, it was a whoopie cushion. A small laugh escaped her throat. “It’s merely a prank. When you sit on it, it expels air and sounds like a fart. pppttthhhhh.” She made the noise and laughed. “The chair is fine to sit upon. But if you are not the kind to ‘sit’ then perhaps nice tray with a bottom that is more pleasing to your outer self than mere deck plates? I am sure your cleverness could contrive something.” She was grateful they weren’t pressing the hot tub. She wasn’t a great fan of them to begin with. But the idea of it being it her quarters was even more disturbing.

Valentina
aCO/XO

“A fart,” Dee questioned, sounding confused, “what is a fart?”

“Flatulence, passing wind, that noise those tellarites at the Academy would make regularly at the Academy, with their hands under their armpits,” Dum rumbled, “that noise that they found very amusing, Dee.” Following an aha of understanding from Dee, Dum continued, “So, Commander, should the sound made by the doors when they open and close be changed to sound like someone sitting on one of those whoopie cushions? Especially if they make people laugh.”

When Dum paused, Dee took over along the same line of thought, “It wouldn’t take us long to get it sorted … we could do a poll of the crew to find out which species version of flatulence is preferred as a sound, and perhaps see if we can also include the olfactorary part of the equation. We blobs don’t have a sense of smell, of course, nor do we … pass wind, but we understand that such things have a distinct smell to them and wonder if that would assist in the process of keeping the crew’s spirits raised.”

  • Dum and Dee Tweedle, Co-CE

It was a good thing the XO hadn’t been taking a drink because she would have blown it out her nose or choked on it. “Ummm… no I don’t think that would work. It’s the sporadic, rare… yes very rare occasions that make a fart so funny. It would cease to be so if the door did it constantly. And the smell is never a laughable matter so no need to consider that, either. But I do applaud your …ummm creativity and curious nature. Perhaps a gag type place programmed for the holodeck may be more appropriate. A set of instances that are funny, like door farting when they open, or perhaps confetti coming out when the replicator is supposed to make coffee. Only in the holodeck program of course. But it would give the crew a program to run that could lift their spirits and give them reasons to laugh when things went sideways. How about that?” She hoped the idea would help to keep such suggestions located on said holo programs and not in her quarters, or the doors to the bridge.

Valentina
aCO

“Ok, Commander, we will take your recommendations on board and develop a number of alternatives for holodeck programs,” Dee said, and brought up a list of programs, “so, the Chief of Waste Management’s training program ‘Sewers Canals’ can probably do with some, oh, and the callisthenics program of the security stuff. ‘Relaxing Sounds of the Oceans’, it seems like that could do with the sounds being discussed in that program, nothing more relaxing than that, especially if it goes slowly over the 8 hour period of that program. In any case the wookie cushions used within the programs shall be designed to maximise the noises produced.”

“Another item we’re working through on the Constellation during this time is to make sure ship systems and facilities are up to scratch and to do up a list of needed repairs for when we return to Fleet HQ. Starships, as you know, have lots of moving parts, Commander, and those moving parts are designed to be … well moving. If starships remain in the one position for too long, they break down. So when the Constellation is in for repairs, we need to get it out of repairs and flying again as quickly as possible, so it doesn’t break down on us. Consider the Enterprise D, for example. Sure, people may point to the fact that it crash landed into the planet Veridian III, but what they forget is that the ship stopped moving. Another one would be the USS Melbourne, Excelsior Class which was involved in the battle of Wolf 359. As with 38 other of the 40 Federation vessels involved in that battle, it was lost with all hands. There are some who claim it was lost because of the borg destroying it, but we consider that it was due to the moving parts of the ship not moving any more, and that it is possible the ship’s maintenance wasn’t kept up to date in accordance with manufacturer’s guidance and the logbook. Logbook servicing is important for starships, Commander.” Dum rumbled.

“We are working through the ship looking for maintenance items we can deal with and which ones need to be dealt with by the teams at Fleet HQ because, well, we just don’t have the resources and facilities on board for them. We have a few items of big concern, the primary one being, the fluffy dice on the bridge. Sure, they look good, and you wouldn’t think they play any kind of role within the starship, but from the engineering course Fluffy Dice - Keeping their fluffiness at the correct levels the lecturers went through the multitude of positive effects their presence has on the ship and crew, everything from ensuring that warp drive is actually operating at the rating requested by the CO, through to that their bounciness ensures that all members of the bridge can hear the instructions and reports from each other clearly. Not only that, but the Reltiry Conglomerate of sector 47B of the Beta Quadrant request the viewing of the fluffy dice on every starship they encounter, and if they aren’t fluffy enough, they consider it a deadly insult and insist on beating the crew of the starship with wet pool noodles as punishment. We think it is best to avoid such a fate,” Dee said, “our fluffy dice is not good, the left one is actually no longer even a cube and the side of the right one with the 5 dots, has one of the dots half detached. Using some duct tape, we have re-attached the dot hanging on by a thread, but it is at best a temporary fix and it would sadly cause the Reltiry Conglomerate to take even more drastic action against us than even wet pool noodles. They would bring out … the comfy chairs, and insist all members of our crew sit in them or you will face Execution. Us blobs couldn’t do that. We must return to Fleet HQ as a matter of urgency on that basis, even if nothing else. So, we urge you Commander, order the ship to Fleet Command for the repairs.”

“You’ll be pleased to know, however, that the ship’s entertainment systems are fully operational, so parties and dancing can continue to occur.” Dum added, “as we’re well aware that’s the most important thing, well that, and the status of the fluffy dice. I mean, transporters in transporter room 2 do need to resequence the marterialising process, so we don’t think that one should be used, and shields can’t currently get above 74.9%, but we can survive with those numbers. But not so the fluffy dice. We urge you, Commander to return the Constellation to Black Rock for the needed replacement/restoration of the Fluffy Dice.”

  • Dum and Dee Tweedle, Blob Siblings and Fluffy Dice Experts
    Co Chief Engineers, USS Constellation

OOC: PS I DID research ships lost at Battle of Wolf 359 and whether dice or die was plural - it suggests that dice can be used for one or more of them. So, you’ll be pleased to know I made sure I got the facts correct.

Russell

OOC: I hope we encounter the Relitry Conglomerate!
~L ((ummm yeah, I don’t… lol))

Valentina, much to her own surprise, actually managed to follow the chatter between the two blobs as they laid out the dire need for replacement dice and about the plans for several holo programs. She made a mental note to be sure to back up all holo programs just in case the Dees decided to do anything drastic.

“While I applaud your precise nature of rules and regulation in regards to ship, and personnel health and well being, I am afraid we will not be heading to dock anytime soon. Though I assure you, I shall make sure the Captain is aware of the risk we take with the dice if we run into the Conglomerate. I shall also endevour to ask for an ID ten T form from the Conglomerate to ask for a single safe passage chit so we can use it in the case of an emergency while we are en route to our next destination prior to returning to dock for obviously much needed repairs.” She nodded in emphasis with her best serious face on.

She glanced around engineering one final time and nodded. “Well I see our ship is in good hands. And, should it seem we will be at the mercy at the conglomerate at any time, I shall see to it that you have plenty of wet noodles to distribute to the crew so they can build up a tolerance to the whippings and therefore not suffer so terribly should the need arise.” She took a step towards the door and gave the pair a half bow of respect. “Thank you, again, for your time and it is good to know we are in such capable company.” She gestured to the two of them and paused for their good bye before she would turn to head out.

She was mentally laughing at the ridiculousness of the ship. When she had first heard of the shenanigans on the vessel, she had chalked it up to a well adjusted crew that had become an integral family unit. Now she was seeing it was, perhaps, a bit more involved than that.

Valentina
XO
(obtainer of wet noodles)


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