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Ministry of Silly Warps - Beginning

Posted March 28, 2021, 5:46 a.m. by Gamemaster Eric, the half a Trib (GamesMaster) (Russell Watt)

As the camera pans backwards, you see a scene of a bar. There are patrons, and as an overweight gent in a business suit, all stop what they are doing, call out “Mron” and then return to what they were doing. The camera then focuses on a man behind the bar, he has a badge which reads “I am the barkeep”
Barkeep: Ladies and Gentle, Brethren, Sinners All, I Call Upon our GM, Eric the Half a Trib to bring us a rendition of that Monty Python Classic The Ministry of Silly Warps …
There is a sudden flash and a Tribble appears. It seems that the tribble has a pair of legs drawn on to him and a top hat, a pair of arms and with hands at the end, one of which is carrying what seems to be a cane. He then begins to walk, his right leg isn’t silly at all and his left leg merely does a forward aerial half turn every alternate step.
Barkeep: Besides which, he’s a tribble! Tribbles don’t wear top hats top hat on tribble disappears or a cane cane disappears or arms arms disappear or legs legs disappear and the tribble falls to the ground and begins to bounce. Besides which I said Ministry of Silly Warps …
Eric, the half a Trib: Oh sorry, did you? I thought you said Silly Walks … I’m looking for a government grant to develop my walk into truly silly territory.
Barkeep: I’m sorry, I don’t get paid enough for this silliness.
Eric, the half a Trib: You get paid?
Barkeep: Yeah, but not enough, we’re out of this, it’s all over to you, Eric.
Eric, the half a Trib: Ok, thanks for your help, barkeep.
Hahum. This is a fresh start for the sim and the ship.
Keep on with your side sims, just add the silliness I will bring you into the mix.

Two gents from the Ministry of Silly Warps are meeting with the Captain, XO and Senior Staff. The Ministry of Silly Warps are a highly secretive part of the Starfleet Corps of Engineers (aka STF Engineering Department) so secretive, only a select few know they even exist. John Palin and Michael Cleese are the two gents from the Ministry of Silly Warps … and it seems the Tweedle siblings know them well.

“The lab tests are promising, John” Michael said.

“They are indeed, Michael,” John agreed.

“Most promising,” Michael said.

“I agree” John agreed.

“Are they ready for a ship?” Michael asked.

“Well, I believe they are,” John said, “our theoretical models suggest they have a 78% chance of success.”

“That high?” Michael asked, “that is impressive.”

“Most impressive,” John agreed again, “and you know what that means, don’t you?”

“No, I don’t?” Michael said.

“Well It’s … time for something completely different. Let’s fetch the comfy chair, bring the crew of the Constellation in for questioning and install the new warp drive system. And let’s do it as a surprise … after all nobody expects the …” John said.

“Spanish Inquisition?” asked Michael.

“Well they don’t expect that, but also the Ministry of Silly Warps, Let’s fetch the Constellation and bring it here, and while we do it, let’s make sure our tests are top rate, oh look, 100% success rate … nothing can go wrong, can it?” John said

“Of course not,” Michael agreed.

Then the two men, one tall and slender, and the other short and squat looked at each other and laughed.

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