Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Vora Zorell (Scientist) in Holodeck 2- Musical Explorations

Posted by Lieutenant Siennadye Nox (Counselor) in Holodeck 2- Musical Explorations

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Vora Zorell (Scientist) in Holodeck 2- Musical Explorations

(snip)

Vora let stillness sit between them for a moment before she dared to look at Nox. While she hadn’t shed any tears, the emotions that threatened them were still there. “I wish it didn’t,” she said distantly. “I wish I could just let it go, but that that is the process I’m going through right now where I am working to stop this stuff from affecting so much of my life.” She exhaled and with it came a release of tension. “I think it’s good for my music, but I’m not sure I can just set it aside for only this. Is that even possible?”

Lt. (j.g) Zorell, Sciences

She considered the question and how she wanted to answer it for a long time. It was a good long minute before Sienna returned the woman’s gaze with empathy and a need to help. Even though their music session was supposed to be casual and friendly, they had ventured into the professional territory, but Sienna kept her tone in the helpful and thoughtful contemplation range rather than professional help range.

“I think music speaks to one’s soul. I think its possible for music to be instrumental in helping one expose oneself in the most vulnerable of ways in one of the most safe ways possible, experience a thing intensely and then recede ones emotional damage to a smaller state. I have seen a significant trauma fade to a very small one with musical therapy. The person in question had a strong connection to music as well as a complete willingness to be vulnerable in that way in front of and with their counselor. It is…” Sienna shrugged and looked at her glass flute in her hand. “Powerful and visceral.”

Nox, CNS

Vora ran the tips of her fingers across the top of the piano and nodded as she absorbed Nox’s words. She looked around and chuckled softly. “I wasn’t sure what this whole thing would be, but I guess I just wanted to try something without the fear of failure.” She smiled briefly. “Deacon taught me how to play the guitar after he made me work my anger out. He taught me first how to rock climb and he’d make me scale this one rock face and repel down, over and over. Not only did I work out some of my frustrations but I built up the physical strength after my body had been mostly wasted away.” She grinned. “He was a pretty decent counsellor for not being trained in it.”

Sienna smiled. “I am glad you had someone who did that for you. He was right and in building up your physical strength, you were also slowly restoring your trust in yourself and your body. By teaching you music, he was helping you connect with your soul and start to relearn who your deepest self was away from the conflicts of life and the stresses you had been through. I would recommend him for schooling in that area had I the ability.”

Tapping the piano with her hand, Zorell gazed at Sienna. “So… the verdict is go with the emotion, yes? I do like my music, but there is something, as my counsellor, I was thinking of running by you…”

She sat up a little straighter and gestured for her to continue. Her attitude was positive and welcoming.

Turning away from the keys to face Nox fully, Vora was thoughtful. “The music is one avenue of expressing myself, of telling my story in small ways. But awhile ago I pondered the idea of actually writing my story for others, especially other Tenraith and publishing it. But because of Roquan and Cortallo, and not to mention keeping Jerrin safe, it seemed to risky. But I think I have a way of doing it in pieces and remain anonymous, without people being able to trace it back to me or Jerrrin. Good idea or terrible one?”

Lt. (j.g) Zorell, Sciences

Sienna thought for a moment, but it didn’t take long. The idea was an excellent one and she said so. “I believe that is an excellent idea actually. Your instincts give you credit Vora, truly. I think if it can be done safely for you and your son, it’s a great idea for a myriad of reasons. Writing out one’s experience is often successful in helping a person process their trauma in a relatively safe way. Writing to benefit others will also be emotionally rewarding for you and probably akin to the same level of accomplishment and pride you felt getting your degree. There is an empowerment to speaking out, to speaking your truth, to telling others your story. Once written, you should have a much firmer grasp on your history and what you choose to let control you and what you don’t. It might give you some perspective and maybe even forgiveness of self.”

“Yes. I think you should do this and if I can help in any way, I absolutely will.”

Nox, CNS