Posted by Lieutenant Siennadye Nox (Counselor) in CNS Office

Posted by Lieutenant Zeke Drake (Chief Medical Officer) in CNS Office

Posted by Lieutenant Siennadye Nox (Counselor) in CNS Office
Posted by… suppressed (10) by the Post Ghost! 👻
<snip>
“I had a wife,” Zeke replied. “She was a records officer And twin girls. Both age 11. Then the Olympic was destroyed. I was busy helping other crew members get to their escape pods. So. I wasn’t there when they needed me.”

She nodded slowly, the expression on her face sympathetic. She could understand how he was feeling. In the course of one’s duty, the personal is cast aside. It could cause a great deal of guilt as well as the grief of loss. Star Fleet was not an easy career. Every officer was well aware of this fact long before they entered service. Still, some officers never came to terms with it and found every thing required more energy.

“It doesn’t pay to get to attached to your shipmates.”

CMO

“It doesn’t pay to avoid them, or be borderline rude to them either. I don’t gather you are the most trusted person on this ship and as CMO, you need to be. You were doing your job. How long ago was this?”

Nox, CNS

“1,278 days ago,” his reply came instantly. “I spent a year as the CMO of the Black Rock Starbase before I was assigned here. Starbase duty is vastly different then being on a ship.”

CMO

Three and a half years. He was still tracking the days. Some people were like that. Others obsessed unhealthily over time like it somehow gave them purpose and could give them connection to that moment in their lives. Some tortured themselves with it. It seemed as though the doctor was simply tracking it, but she would have to probe further to confirm.

“Did you finish the requisite grief counseling?” Her voice was kind but not pitying. She kept it light and curious, almost clinical.

Nox, CNS

Zeke paused for a moment. Finally, he said, “An emergency situation came up at the Starbase which required my immediate attention. So I never got around to it.”

“As old as I am, you’d think that I knew better.”

CMO

Sienna pressed her lips together and gave him a sideways glance. “Yes, you’d think that.” She wanted to go into a rant about why people felt the need to shirk perfectly normal therapy when it was just as important as physical medical care. Did psychologists smell funny? Have bad breath? Have more than one head?

Ignoring her miff about that, she turned her gaze back to him and with a sad smile shook her head. “So, then we should work on that. Bereavement counselling aims to help an individual explore emotions. You will be asked about your loss, about your relationship to the deceased, and about your own life now that you have lost them. Answering these questions often means tapping into sadness or anger, so emotional outbursts should not be censored during our sessions. Crying and yelling may come naturally during bereavement counselling and certainly will not offend me so feel free to express yourself however you are feeling.”

“Allowing you to explore your emotions without guilt or censure is often what appeals most about bereavement counselling. Your current dilemma shows me that you are more than ready to work through your bereavement to achieve a different quality of life for yourself. You need to be trusted in your role as CMO and that is hard for anyone when you are a gruff individual to get to know even on a surface level. Bereavement counselling is not an admission of weakness, but instead it is an admission of the strength to seek help when it is needed. Do you think you are ready to really start exploring this with me today? Or do you wish to set an appointment in a week to give you some time to come to terms with this decision?”

Nox, CNS

“A counter offer? Maybe I can fill you in on what I’ve been doing here since,” Zeke said. “In fact, it’s the real reason why I’m here today.”

Sienna was glad to see that he was finally being truthful about his reason for coming. She didn’t think he had been prepared for her to talk about his family. He had been avoiding it for years and it would be hard to get him to talk unless she made him talk. However, he had a reason to be here and she could push that button later.

“You see, the accident at the Starbase critically injured the Admiral’s son. I patched him up. In return, the admiral gave me the assignment here.”

“But! He also assigned me to work on a top secret holodeck program. A prototype of its kind. The program includes command codes designed not only to hide its files in the computer library index. But also to override the standard limitations on activation time.”

“It’s s fully interactive entertainment environment made for ships with small crews that are sent on incredibly long voyages. It breaks up the monotony of their daily routine.”

CMO

Skeptical, she didn’t hide her suspicion from her face. Usually, the Captain would be very upset if he found out that there was a secret project being done on his ship without his permission that included command codes he was not able to control or have access to. “Is the Captain aware of this project?”

Nox, CNS

“Not yet,” Zeke said. “And really, I’m just evaluating it. I’m only just at the point to where I can invite people into it.”

CMO

“I think that you should at the very least include the Captain. What is the theme or set up?”

Nox, CNS

“Well…” Zeke started to say. Then he blushed. “I didn’t want to use anyone alive. I mean, it would be rather awkward, you know? And the programmer told me to do something that I was familiar with. That I’d basically be interacting with in most of my off hours as I ran the evaluation.”

“So, I picked my old cabin in the woods. Using my family.”

CMO

“Ah.” She said and seemed to ruminate on that particular idea for several long moments. His choice was understandable. Anyone grieving would want to see their family again and the holodeck was an easy temptation for just that particular thing. It also led to holoaddiction and in his case, an avoidance of actually really dealing with the grief of their loss. She sighed softly. “Being a medical doctor, you must be aware of the possible side effects of that choice. Why choose it?”

Nox, CNS

“You see, grief and I are old friends,” Zeke replied. “Over the years, I’ve lost so many people. It’s only natural, I know. But I wanted to recapture the time when I still had my last wife and the twins.”

CMO

“For a brief time, that can be helpful, but from what you have explained, this is a long term .... relationship. While I am hesitant to say you might be addicted to the holodeck, I will say in spirit at least, you are not dealing with your actual grief and moving on. Prolonging as you have means that you are doing serious damage to your psyche and it is evident in your every day interactions with the other crew. So Doctor. What should you do?”

Nox, CNS

bump for Mike

Zeke thought for a moment. “I should end it,” he finally said. “Perhaps I will. But later. They are still real to me.”

CMO

“You could start making adjustments to make the simulation less real, less tangible, but honestly, from a psychological perspective, this is incredibly unhealthy. We cannot prolong the lives of our dead loved ones longer this way as it causes significant damage to the psyche. You should know that… of all people. They aren’t real and your brain knows that. It wars with your heart and only prolongs your suffering over time. No wonder you have been unable to make any real connections with your crew mates.”

Sienna sighed and sipped her drink. “The point is no matter how real they feel to you, they are not. You will never be “ready” to let it go. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not next month.”

Nox, CNS

Bump