Posted by Ensign Ashlyn Trenton (Security Officer) in Side Sim - Dealing with Separation

Posted by Lieutenant Siennadye Nox (Counselor) in Side Sim - Dealing with Separation

Posted by Ensign Ashlyn Trenton (Security Officer) in Side Sim - Dealing with Separation
Posted by… suppressed (3) by the Post Ghost! 👻
It had been about two months since Ensign Fayth had departed from the Europa and through most of it, Ashlyn had been alright. Less social than usual and more work-focused, but not unhealthily so, she also seemed to have lost some of the vibrancy of her emotions. To the psychically inclined, her thoughts were muddled and sounded like static, but they were still loud in comparison to most. Her defenses have gotten better, but not in the way expected, she’s still working on the more common blocks that people use that keep all but the deepest mind dives out.

Today, however, was all wrong. Ashlyn’s emotions were all over the place, she couldn’t focus on her reports and was snappy or standoffish to other security personnel. It took one of her colleagues to get her to understand that something was wrong and she needed to take care of it before she did something stupid. She apologized for her behavior and wrote up the report to Lieutenant Abrams with a request for a personal ‘mental health’ day to get her head straight, stating that she’d be willing to take up someone’s shift and work extra duty to make up for it.

After turning in the report and request, Ashlyn let herself wander the corridors not wanting to return to her room where a less accepting roommate awaited. The engineering team had wasted no time after Sharah left to go in and reset that half of the room to its original configuration. Within the week NEnsign Kien had moved in and was immediately put off by the tube configuration that took up half the room. Within a few days, Kien had become incredibly vocal about how odd Ashlyn’s mannerisms were and her selection of off duty activities. Kien was one of the reasons Ashlyn threw herself into more work, it was an excuse to not return to her room where she would continue to be judged by the Science Team member. It was evident to Trenton that she couldn’t trust her, by the third week Kien had taken to sharing rumors with friends back home, exposing secrets to strangers that didn’t live on the ship. It made her smile when Trenton climbed down from her sleeping space in the tubes to make her presence suddenly known. The girl panicked, but she had no interest in dealing with her.

Ashlyn stopped when she was confronted with a door that didn’t open automatically like most. Taking a moment to get her bearings, she realized she was outside the Counselor’s Office. Well, it made sense and this was the appropriate place to bring her troubles for help. Unfortunately, when Ashlyn checked the time, it was hours still before the Counselor would be in. Considering that she was going to have to turn in that paper soon on the proposal for the security algorithm updates, Ashlyn went ahead and opened the door, bypassing the security with a tetrahedron algorithm that trapped the locking mechanism in a logic loop, allowing her to open the door. Once inside, Ashlyn removed the algorithm and locked the door again before settling into one of the couches. Now she was in a quiet space alone where people wouldn’t find her which gave her time to process her emotions. At least until the counselor came in and would likely chastise her for breaking an entering.

• Ensign Ashlyn Trenton
  Security, USS Europa

Sienna was often a late night roamer herself. Sometimes, it was the best time for her to do work. Delta shift was generally more quiet either because of the perceived hour on board the ship, or because the people who worked it tended to be quite relaxed by nature. They still worked hard and had their own way of intensity, but it was a different attitude she found more quiet psychically than others. Having been in the midst of battle for a prolonged period of time as a doctor had made her penchant for sleeping to be slim. In addition to her small need for sleep, she also had nightmares. On days she did not have to work her shift, she tended to wander late into the night and sometimes til morning and so, it was an odd hour when she was passing near her office and stopped.

The odd sensation that made her pause was coming from her office. Trenton was an open book most days and apparently now was no real exception. Trenton had done WHAT?! Sienna closed her mind down sharply so that no one who was sensitive would hear her internal distress. And she hoped that Johann was deep in sleep and had not heard her rather loud projected mental exclamation of surprise. Much more clamped down, she inspected the thoughts Trenton was projecting as well as her own internal struggle with anger and the desire to help.

Trenton had essentially had picked her door lock and entered her office without permission. They weren’t allowed to do that except during an emergency and though Trenton was distressed, they were not at an emergency level. It felt like such a violation and intrusion on a personal level and Sienna was fuming. It was hard to keep calm and examine the situation without the anger. There were plenty of places they could have waited on the ship for Sienna to come on duty. Or they could have left a message for Sienna to get upon waking if they had not wanted to wake her, but had wanted to make sure she was available asap. THe internal struggle was hard. Did she call Trentons chief to have them physically removed and reprimanded but likely lose whatever Trenton was so keen to talk to Sienna about? Or did she go in and chastise them, effectively doing the same thing?

As satisfying as either would have been, Sienna was first and foremost, a counselor. She sent her door logs and all other pertinent information to Cassidy to receive when she woke along with a note asking for a meeting at her earliest convenience. Then she took a few deep calming breaths before stepping into her office and allowing the lights to come on with her entrance.

“I take it you need to talk Ashlyn?” Sienna asked as she moved to the replicator to get coffee she knew she was going to need. Her tone was one of mild curiosity. There seemed to be no anger and no acknowledgment of the intense personal violation she felt.

Nox, CNS

Trenton was slow to stir, taken to carefully consider her answer knowing that her chaotically noisy thoughts were not going to help her. “I apologize, I needed a place to go where I knew I would encounter you but wouldn’t encounter anyone else. I’m not doing as well as I thought I was and am not the best when it comes to self-analysis.” Trenton watched the Counselor get herself a coffee and realized she likely was only causing problems. Trenton sighed to herself and resigned to accept that she was making things worse rather than better. “I responded poorly while on duty and decided I needed to get to the source of the problem. Seeing as my current method of boxing the issue up till later isn’t working, I thought it best I come to you for your expertise. My approach leaves a lot to be desired and is clearly going to cause more trouble in the long term. I need help to come to a resolution to what the issue is so I can stop making these clearly terrible decisions.”

Those were not the only things on Trenton’s mind, there was a lot more static noise that would reveal more thoughts. However, what she did share at this point was what she thought was best. Oversharing only creates more trouble and she needed to wait until asked or dismissed. The clear thoughts were mostly on the expectation that she’ll be chastised and dismissed or thrown into the brig, either was considered acceptable given she did break-in. It’s clear from her thoughts that she expects more trouble and no help.

• Ensign Ashlyn Trenton
  Security, USS Europa
  

Sienna seemed to take her time, making sure the coffee was perfect and blowing on it as she listened to Ashlyn’s explanation, if one could call it that. Their mind was a jumble but a few things definitely stood out. Sometimes, it was helpful being a telepath and empath. Sometimes not. In Ashlyn’s case, the former applied. She seemed to pace slowly, obviously thinking before finally taking a seat in the one of the chair’s opposite the couch.

“Ashlyn, I think you seem to be under the impression that boxing things up inside to deal with sometime in the future is a natural regular response to everything that bothers you. In point of fact.... forgive me as I give you some more intense education on psychology for a moment… The brain wrapping up memories or feelings and putting them away is a trauma response, meant only to protect the brain and body in those most intense moments of trauma. Sometimes that comes with amnesia of the period of time pertinent to that trauma and sometimes, its a fading of memories as if viewing them from a distance. ITs a protection method and typically only temporary. If one uses a trauma response for regular things we struggle with, it can do some real damage. ITs not meant to be a daily coping mechanism, it’s meant to protect from severe trauma. You need to find normal every day ways of handling your more intense negative emotions such as frustration, loss, anger, sadness, and loneliness.”

“Now I shall take off my education hat and lets get down to what is bothering you. I take it that you are missing your friend Ensign Fayth since she left?” Of course Sienna had seen the transfer and had sent on her personal notes for the Counselor who would be taking on the Ensign’s unique needs. And she thought Trenton would struggle a bit, though not to this degree.

Nox, CNS

Ashlyn nodded solemnly and released her newest attempt at shielding, her mind sounding like an old radio finding a clear channel after surfing through static. “I knew she would change ships eventually and that we may end up separated. I thought I had prepared myself for it, I guess not as well as I thought I did.” “I feel so empty.” “My chest hurts.” “Why did I get so close.” “I really miss her.” Unintelligable bawling noises with furniture tossing noises. “The box is becoming toxic, we should toss it out.”“No! We can’t toss it out, we have to solve it. That’s why we’re here to see the counselor.” “She doesn’t want to solve the box.” “Last I checked, we’re not psychic. Stop being so pessimistic.”“Ugh, this is a mess. We’re not supposed to be a mess.” Ashlyn reached over the end of the couch she was sitting on and pulled up a standard-issue pack that was overstuffed with PaDDs. Ashlyn pulled a few out and placed them on the table in front of the Counselor. “I thought I could distract myself with more work and projects. If that were successful, I wouldn’t be here.” “That’s bull, you would be here.” “Yeah, you just wouldn’t have broken in. You would have been outside waiting with fresh coffee cake.” Ashlyn paused for a moment then corrected herself. “No, I would be here, just would have been smarter about it.”

On the PaDDs are detailed notes about identified security vulnerabilities and theories for how to correct them, not enough to be concrete for a meeting though. Even in the messy chaos of Ashlyn’s mind, there were some thoughts that were still working out the solutions for some of the data on the PaDDs. Unfortunately, they are being loudly drowned out with all the emotional chaos.

• Ensign Ashlyn Trenton
  Security, USS Europa
  ((OOC Note: Was going to break up the thoughts with subscript and superscript but the HTML commands don’t work for either for some reason.))

((OOC: Don’t worry. I get it :D))

Sienna listened, and she listened. She didn’t address the breaking in. Such would be taken care of by her Chief as it was out of her purview. No, Cassidy was more prepared to handle the breach of security and trust created by Trenton’s actions of using their position as a security officer to break in to a room they shouldn’t have had access to. She sighed deeply as she looked at the PaDD’s.

“A temporary coping mechanism and a good one, but it’s just that Ashlyn.... Temporary. If you ignore strong feelings, it’s just going to get worse. So let’s talk about it. Tell me what you feel about her leaving. Not the logical side of you that knows everyone can be transferred at a moments notice and we all should be prepared for that. I mean how do you really feel about it? It can be simple, it can be many things… Just start talking.”

Nox, CNS