STF

Side Sim - Dealing with Separation

Posted Oct. 9, 2020, 12:11 p.m. by Lieutenant Siennadye Nox (Counselor) (Amber DeSadier)

Posted by Ensign Ashlyn Trenton (Security Officer) in Side Sim - Dealing with Separation

Posted by Lieutenant Siennadye Nox (Counselor) in Side Sim - Dealing with Separation

Posted by Ensign Ashlyn Trenton (Security Officer) in Side Sim - Dealing with Separation
Posted by… suppressed (3) by the Post Ghost! 👻
(Snip)

Sienna seemed to take her time, making sure the coffee was perfect and blowing on it as she listened to Ashlyn’s explanation, if one could call it that. Their mind was a jumble but a few things definitely stood out. Sometimes, it was helpful being a telepath and empath. Sometimes not. In Ashlyn’s case, the former applied. She seemed to pace slowly, obviously thinking before finally taking a seat in the one of the chair’s opposite the couch.

“Ashlyn, I think you seem to be under the impression that boxing things up inside to deal with sometime in the future is a natural regular response to everything that bothers you. In point of fact.... forgive me as I give you some more intense education on psychology for a moment… The brain wrapping up memories or feelings and putting them away is a trauma response, meant only to protect the brain and body in those most intense moments of trauma. Sometimes that comes with amnesia of the period of time pertinent to that trauma and sometimes, its a fading of memories as if viewing them from a distance. ITs a protection method and typically only temporary. If one uses a trauma response for regular things we struggle with, it can do some real damage. ITs not meant to be a daily coping mechanism, it’s meant to protect from severe trauma. You need to find normal every day ways of handling your more intense negative emotions such as frustration, loss, anger, sadness, and loneliness.”

“Now I shall take off my education hat and lets get down to what is bothering you. I take it that you are missing your friend Ensign Fayth since she left?” Of course Sienna had seen the transfer and had sent on her personal notes for the Counselor who would be taking on the Ensign’s unique needs. And she thought Trenton would struggle a bit, though not to this degree.

Nox, CNS

Ashlyn nodded solemnly and released her newest attempt at shielding, her mind sounding like an old radio finding a clear channel after surfing through static. “I knew she would change ships eventually and that we may end up separated. I thought I had prepared myself for it, I guess not as well as I thought I did.” “I feel so empty.” “My chest hurts.” “Why did I get so close.” “I really miss her.” Unintelligable bawling noises with furniture tossing noises. “The box is becoming toxic, we should toss it out.”“No! We can’t toss it out, we have to solve it. That’s why we’re here to see the counselor.” “She doesn’t want to solve the box.” “Last I checked, we’re not psychic. Stop being so pessimistic.”“Ugh, this is a mess. We’re not supposed to be a mess.” Ashlyn reached over the end of the couch she was sitting on and pulled up a standard-issue pack that was overstuffed with PaDDs. Ashlyn pulled a few out and placed them on the table in front of the Counselor. “I thought I could distract myself with more work and projects. If that were successful, I wouldn’t be here.” “That’s bull, you would be here.” “Yeah, you just wouldn’t have broken in. You would have been outside waiting with fresh coffee cake.” Ashlyn paused for a moment then corrected herself. “No, I would be here, just would have been smarter about it.”

On the PaDDs are detailed notes about identified security vulnerabilities and theories for how to correct them, not enough to be concrete for a meeting though. Even in the messy chaos of Ashlyn’s mind, there were some thoughts that were still working out the solutions for some of the data on the PaDDs. Unfortunately, they are being loudly drowned out with all the emotional chaos.

  • Ensign Ashlyn Trenton
    Security, USS Europa
    ((OOC Note: Was going to break up the thoughts with subscript and superscript but the HTML commands don’t work for either for some reason.))
    ((OOC: Don’t worry. I get it :D))

Sienna listened, and she listened. She didn’t address the breaking in. Such would be taken care of by her Chief as it was out of her purview. No, Cassidy was more prepared to handle the breach of security and trust created by Trenton’s actions of using their position as a security officer to break in to a room they shouldn’t have had access to. She sighed deeply as she looked at the PaDD’s.

“A temporary coping mechanism and a good one, but it’s just that Ashlyn.... Temporary. If you ignore strong feelings, it’s just going to get worse. So let’s talk about it. Tell me what you feel about her leaving. Not the logical side of you that knows everyone can be transferred at a moments notice and we all should be prepared for that. I mean how do you really feel about it? It can be simple, it can be many things… Just start talking.”

Nox, CNS

Ashlyn was paused once again, this time trying to organize her thoughts enough to at least be coherent when she was speaking. “I feel…afraid. Afraid and angry and sad. I want to fight something, but I have no idea what or who. It leaves me confused like I was when I was a kid. No reason, no explanation, it just happened and all the people I really care about are gone.” Internally, Ashlyn argues with herself over how to deal with this part of the box. The box is overturned without warning and Ashlyn slid down from the couch to the floor where she took a position to start a meditation. She is trying to physically detach herself from what is going on internally to keep from doing something else irrational. The emotions are the same as she was describing earlier, but many times more intense as the memories of her experience replay.

  • Ensign Ashlyn Trenton
    Security, USS Europa

It was good to see Ashlyn organize her thoughts and really think before speaking. Her feelings when spoken were what Sienna expected and were not at all uncommon with people who have abandonment issues. Her excitement about this breakthrough was immediately followed with concern as Ashlyn slid off the couch and shut down. Then the barrage of emotions hit Sienna like a wave. She knew that Ashlyn had gone through trauma when she was younger, but surely Ashlyn’s years of counseling by the excellent counselors in Star Fleet would have touched on this before. The fact that these memories still plagued the young ensign was concerning to her ability to continue in Star Fleet. Only time would tell.

Sometimes, patience was needed so Sienna sat and sipped her coffee, waiting for now to see if Ashlyn would pull herself out of whatever this state was.

Nox, CNS

It took Ashlyn a few minutes to get herself back in check enough to come out of the meditation, essentially putting everything back into the box. She got up off the floor and back into the chair again then pulled out one of her water bottles to drink away the dry feeling to very little effect. “Sorry, this is a subject I don’t usually talk about or bring up. It doesn’t really go anywhere and tends to be a waste of time to deal with it. It’s my word versus the official reports, there are more questions than there are answers, there are a lot of things about it that don’t line up and it becomes too much to deal with. So I don’t, and now it’s not working.” Ashlyn took another drink of water and sighed, “I need to find a way to address the problem, knowing that there may not be enough information or even anything I can do about it to begin with that doesn’t result in a continued pressure switch toward a mental breakdown when it’s important for me to maintain my faculties.”

  • Ensign Ashlyn Trenton
    Security, USS Europa

Sienna seemed quite patient and understanding. She simply waited, sipping her coffee and allowing Ashlyn the time they needed to collect themselves. “I must say I am surprised you were not offered Cognitive Processing Therapy, EMDR, Psychodymanic therapy, or any other related therapies before or during your academy time. Some people suffer enough that their mind never allows them to process it in any other way but abstract, but you seem cognitive enough about your trauma that you should have done some form of processing therapy by now.”

Nox, CNS


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