Posted Oct. 14, 2020, 1:44 a.m. by Lieutenant Commander Tolar Zarath (Chief Medical Officer) (Dave Eads)
Posted by Lieutenant Siennadye Nox (Counselor) in Arboretum - Psych Eval
Posted by Lieutenant Commander Tolar Zarath (Chief Medical Officer) in Arboretum - Psych Eval
Posted by Lieutenant Siennadye Nox (Counselor) in Arboretum - Psych Eval
Posted by… suppressed (10) by the Post Ghost! 👻
“I am, as yet, unwed.” He chuckled. “It never really crossed my mind to pursue that sort of joining when I was a young man, due to the nature of the work I chose to do. I wanted to fight with the best of the best, I never intended to grow old, so why join a union and procreate? My brothers and sisters could do that and fulfill the clan oathe, I wanted to bring honor to our clan in another way. Perhaps it was selfish of me to feel that way, but I did.” His antennae curled as he took a sip of tea.
“Ironically, I survived the injuries that ended my career as a soldier, the I.G. doctors were surprised I lived through the surgeries. They were even more surprised that I managed to learn to walk again. After I got over the shock of it, I decided I’d rather put people back together than take them apart. I never went home after I recovered…” Tolar Zarath fell silent. He realized that while it wasn’t a lot to say, it was more than he’d said about his life in a long, long time.
Sienna had a way of drawing out what people subconsciously thought about. It was a talent. Usually, they were surprised at their own realizations or admissions and rarely upset by having told them to the Counselor and her kind and compassionate demeanor. “I can understand that. I have not gone home in a long time, even when I wasn’t here. Betazed is a lovely planet with lovely people, but my work was my passion and my home. Eventually my husband also became my home and my work only slightly secondary to him.”
“I can’t say to have passion about our careers is selfish inherently. In fact, I always thought of being a doctor as one of the least selfish careers a person can have. What is your favorite part of the job?”
“I don’t know if I can truthfully say that I see it the way you describe…” Zarath said quietly. He was utterly calm, antennae barely swaying now. He’d begun it he knew, as a sort of experiment. To see if perhaps there was a point where he could share his view of his life. To be honest in a way he never had. She was talented, and her abilities were comforting. He could easily see how she could reach a person and get them to open up. He knew he could have fought it and resisted. The years said not to resist. To let it go this time.
“Life is not the thing I originally thought it was. Sadly, I had to learn it’s meaning through taking of it. Once I had done that enough, I knew I had been wrong. Utterly wrong…” Zarath allowed himself to glance at her. “The work I do is for others, yes… And I enjoy helping them, teaching them… But it is also for me. I owe a debt, Counselor, for every light that left someone’s eyes. I’ll spend my years paying back this debt, and when I’m done paying for it… I’ll rejoice in that light until my time is over and the light goes out for me. I don’t suppose that makes any sense, does it? “
- Zarath, CMO
She watched him, her head turned in his direction, taking in his facial features as he thought through his process and came to his conclusions. The honesty and vulnerability were loud and clear to her as he spoke. So, he was making up for the deaths he had a part in. It was no more or less than most people’s reasons for doing what they did. “Actually, its a fairly common reason why people do what they do. Not to say it isn’t important or valid though. No one is ever truly altruistic. There is always some level of self interest in altruism because there is too much social conditioning and inherent bias to be otherwise.”
“Do you think when you reach that number, that payback, you will stop being a doctor then?”
“I haven’t decided.” He shrugged lightly. “I suppose I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.” The Andorian adjusted his sitting position, and laid his cane across his knees before taking another sip of tea. “One of the ways they taught us to make decisions in special forces was to ‘defer to future self, cuz he has intel you don’t.’ I suppose that’s probably avoidance of the issue, but I’m alright with that for now.”
She smiled and chuckled softly. “Defer to future self, cuz he has intel you don’t. I like that and I think I am going to add it to my internal list of sayings. It’s clever and can be quite accurate. Its not really avoidance I think so much as a decision to not make a decision yet. That’s valid too.”
“Well, here is my boring and required question. Do you have anything you are struggling with coming in to work here? Any concerns?”
The Andorian shook his head, sending his antennae into a swirl of motion. “I have no concerns.” He replied. “And even if I did, they wouldn’t prevent me from doing my job, or lessen my ability to do my job.” Tolar smiled. “Do I pass?”
She laughed, amused at his straight forward attitude, and nodded. “I suppose you do doctor. I suppose you do.” She looked down at her tea mug and noticed it was empty and offered it up to him. “You may stay if you like, but you are not required. I only request more of that lovely tea, please.”
He offered and poured her another cup. “I hadn’t planned on going anywhere, but I do prefer to get business out of the way promptly.” Tolar chuckled. “Do you spend a lot of time here?” he asked, refilling his own cup, antennae moving slightly as ever.
She smiled as the tea was poured and nodded, feeling the same. Now that their business was done, she could get to know the doctor. It was nice that he wanted to get to know her. SIenna had been reluctant to make friends at first, scared that she would not be able to keep her secrets from those they might effect, but had started opening up little by little recently. “Actually I do. I am often here or in the Lounge. Relaxation is important, but also, I like working in other places than my office. I find so too do some of my patients. I also tend to have wanderlust and staying in my quarters and my office trigger it a lot. What about you? I know that it is not exactly your favorite temperature, but other than that?”
The Andorian wasn’t an empath at all, but he did seem to find opening up easy with the Counselor. Perhaps making an effort would make life a little more interesting on the Europa. “I do enjoy a change of scenery, but my wanderlust has been mostly slaked. I’ve been a military man all my life, and you know how that is. Never stayed in one post longer than a few years after the Academy. I don’t wander the ship much, but I’ve been known to lurk occasionally… Does the lounge carry any actual alcohol?” He wondered now how much holodeck time he’d acrued, it might be fun to look into some old holonovels on his off time.
She sipped her tea, watching him as he spoke. Being an empath could give insight to many things, but physical movements or stillness as well as how someone spoke could give a lot of information for the discerning eye. “It does. I believe we get a regular shipment from Delaney Whiskey Distillery. A Lieutenant Junior Grade that was stationed here before I came was the daughter of the owners. She knew the Captain enjoyed a good whiskey and makes sure to send some along every year or so. I am not much of a whiskey fan, but they make sure there are other real alcohols too. I think her parent’s pub is also a holodeck program she left here, come to think of it. I saw it on the list of personal programs open to public use when I was perusing the menu yesterday contemplating what I want to do with my holodeck time coming up. Please tell me you are not one of those people who hates the holodeck.”
“Well, I’m not a big drinker… but if I’m imbibing, I prefer authenticity.” He made his version of a wry grin, which involved a deft movement of antennae. At the mention of the holodeck, he let the grin stay. “I am not one of those people, however I’ve been told my tastes are somewhat odd. Most people find Andorian history a bit off-putting, unless they have ancestory involving vikings, and being Andorian the literature from human culture which appeals most ot me is of the Noir/mystery variety.” Truth be told, Tolar actually owned several series of ancient 1930’s earth Noir books, finding some heartwarming paralells with Andorian society in them.
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