Posted by Ensign Ashlyn Trenton (Security Officer) in Side Sim - Dealing with Separation

Posted by Lieutenant Siennadye Nox (Counselor) in Side Sim - Dealing with Separation
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Ashlyn looked a bit stumped for a moment as her thoughts tried to make sense of what the Counselor was asking about, most of these things she hadn’t heard of before. “By the time I was ‘stable’ enough to join Starfleet, I was mostly focused on my work and studies. Researching cultures, security practices, information protocols, systems security measures, I didn’t allow myself to have the time to really explore what was in the box. I occasionally would pull something out to process it and deal with it, but for the most part, things just went in the box and I could ignore them. As you pointed out, it’s not sustainable and I guess I just found the limit. At least it was during reports and not during the shift, that could have been significantly worse.” Ashlyn took another drink of water, this time trying to hold back a sudden nervous feeling like there was some process she was supposed to do but didn’t. “I guess my ability to focus well at the work I was doing made the underlying issues seem less important or relevant. If it wasn’t impacting work, why draw attention to it? Should I have…uh…done....any of that stuff you mentioned?”

• Ensign Ashlyn Trenton
  Security, USS Europa

“Should you?” Sienna nodded, looking speculative. “I would have said that it was important for you to have done one of them, but if you weren’t exhibiting symptoms or having moments like you just had, I suppose it would have been unnoticed. I would have liked for the Academy Counselors to have dug deeper and I may need to give them a gentle poking to do so in the future. But that is not a concern for now. Its obvious that we should start looking at the contents of the box after we deal with your friend leaving and how you feel about that.”

“Now that you have had a moment to panic about it, a moment to think about it, and a moment to have logic applied… how do you feel about her leaving now?”

Nox, CNS

Ashlyn took that moment to look deep within herself, separating out the different emotions to single out just what she is feeling about Sharah’s departure. This evidently wasn’t an easy task as the young officer looked more focused and confused trying to detangle the web of her own emotions. “Sad mostly, lonely because the replacement roommate is a terrible person. I’m sure she’s a great engineer, but her attitude and treatment of others leaves a lot to be desired.” Ashlyn shook her head, getting back on track with her thoughts, “Sorry, that wasn’t relevant to the question and is a topic I need to bring up with someone else. I miss her familiarity and the comfort of companionship we had. There wasn’t much guesswork between us, we got along really well and she understood me. Granted that was partially due to the fact that she couldn’t get out of my head, but we were okay with that. With her, I could truly relax when I got to our quarters, now I’m just restless and am struggling to get good restful sleep. Admittedly I find this place to feel pretty safe which is probably why I came in when I shouldn’t have.”

Internally, there seems to be a skit going on. Visualizations of the arguments with NEnsign Kein and how they would have gone differently with Sharah. Ashlyn shook her head again, jarring herself from those thoughts. “Sorry, I seem to have a bad habit of unfairly comparing the new roommate to the previous one.”

• Ensign Ashlyn Trenton
  Security, USS Europa

She waited, quite patiently as she had before, letting Ashlyn examine herself and come to her own realizations. “It is okay and totally normal to feel sad, lonely and even lost when a dear friend goes away. It can be jarring when they are replaced at least physically by someone so completely unlike them. I actually had this concern when you first arrived. It’s one of the reasons that academy mates don’t bunk together. You need to have experiences with people of all types, especially since the whole of your existence is going to be with all types and not just Sharah. You became dependent on her being there and while limited co-dependency is healthy and helpful, being too co-dependent on someone can lead to serious issues.”

“It seems to me that you have some work to do. There must be some valuable traits in your new roommate or else she wouldn’t be on our ship. You will have to actually work at creating boundaries and agreements to make your space livable for you both. Conversations will need to happen about each person’s needs and expectations. You had little to no boundaries with Sharah and that isn’t healthy for either of you. Your new rooming situation will require more work on your part in communication and active listening.”

“If you are entirely incompatible, that’s something that can be brought up with the XO for reassignment of your living situation, but you have to at least try to make it work. You will not always be super compatible with people you work and live with, but you still have to make it work.”

Nox, CNS

Ashlyn ran through memories of all her interactions with NEnsign Kein to find the ones she could pull positive traits from. The counselor was right that Ashlyn wouldn’t get along with everyone, but there wasn’t a need to. As long as Ensign Trenton could maintain a professional relationship with others, no matter who they were, there wouldn’t be any issues at all. This didn’t change Ashlyn’s opinion of NEnsign Kein, still seen as a horrible person with no respect for people’s privacy. This led to an idea for the Ensign though, she could use this as a form of information control instead. Make sure what information Kein passes on is either false or not private for anyone other than Kein. A new strategy of security protocols and an opportunity to hone skills she can use later made itself apparent to the young ensign. “I understand counselor, I shall endeavor to build a productive relationship with her though I still feel she has a clashing personality.”

Sienna wasn’t sure Ashlyn really understood, or if she understood and was choosing to take it in a different direction than intended. Still, people had to make their own mistakes. If Ashlyn was going to try and dupe her roommate, Sienna wasn’t going to stop her. Ashlyn had to learn.

Ashlyn will have to talk to the doctor later, it’s starting to look like she’ll be more driven to the ‘Internal Affairs’ goal. “I try to build reasonable working relationships with my teammates and those have been pretty good save for how nosey they tend to be. Or it could be that I’m being too private a person? I’m not sure honestly. I know we trust each other with our duties and responsibilities, but beyond that is kind of…I’m not sure, personal? I’m overthinking this aren’t I?”

• Ensign Ashlyn Trenton
  Security, USS Europa

“Perhaps look at it as less ‘nosey’ and more genuine desire to get to know you as a person? I’m not saying you can’t have private things, but perhaps you are a bit too quickly to discount their questions as nosey. How are they to become friends with you, if you are not sharing part of yourself with them? I don’t mean on a mind meld level, but being a bit vulnerable and putting trust in others isn’t a bad thing. Sometimes it doesn’t work, but that is a part of living and learning. Being on the fringes and having no real connections to people is not all it is cracked up to be.”

Nox, CNS