STF

Side Sim - Dealing with Separation

Posted Dec. 14, 2020, 11:37 a.m. by Lieutenant Siennadye Nox (Counselor) (Amber DeSadier)

Posted by Ensign Ashlyn Trenton (Security Officer) in Side Sim - Dealing with Separation

Posted by Lieutenant Siennadye Nox (Counselor) in Side Sim - Dealing with Separation

Posted by Ensign Ashlyn Trenton (Security Officer) in Side Sim - Dealing with Separation
Posted by… suppressed (3) by the Post Ghost! 👻
<snip>
Ashlyn looked a bit stumped for a moment as her thoughts tried to make sense of what the Counselor was asking about, most of these things she hadn’t heard of before. “By the time I was ‘stable’ enough to join Starfleet, I was mostly focused on my work and studies. Researching cultures, security practices, information protocols, systems security measures, I didn’t allow myself to have the time to really explore what was in the box. I occasionally would pull something out to process it and deal with it, but for the most part, things just went in the box and I could ignore them. As you pointed out, it’s not sustainable and I guess I just found the limit. At least it was during reports and not during the shift, that could have been significantly worse.” Ashlyn took another drink of water, this time trying to hold back a sudden nervous feeling like there was some process she was supposed to do but didn’t. “I guess my ability to focus well at the work I was doing made the underlying issues seem less important or relevant. If it wasn’t impacting work, why draw attention to it? Should I have…uh…done....any of that stuff you mentioned?”

  • Ensign Ashlyn Trenton
    Security, USS Europa

“Should you?” Sienna nodded, looking speculative. “I would have said that it was important for you to have done one of them, but if you weren’t exhibiting symptoms or having moments like you just had, I suppose it would have been unnoticed. I would have liked for the Academy Counselors to have dug deeper and I may need to give them a gentle poking to do so in the future. But that is not a concern for now. Its obvious that we should start looking at the contents of the box after we deal with your friend leaving and how you feel about that.”

“Now that you have had a moment to panic about it, a moment to think about it, and a moment to have logic applied… how do you feel about her leaving now?”

Nox, CNS

Ashlyn took that moment to look deep within herself, separating out the different emotions to single out just what she is feeling about Sharah’s departure. This evidently wasn’t an easy task as the young officer looked more focused and confused trying to detangle the web of her own emotions. “Sad mostly, lonely because the replacement roommate is a terrible person. I’m sure she’s a great engineer, but her attitude and treatment of others leaves a lot to be desired.” Ashlyn shook her head, getting back on track with her thoughts, “Sorry, that wasn’t relevant to the question and is a topic I need to bring up with someone else. I miss her familiarity and the comfort of companionship we had. There wasn’t much guesswork between us, we got along really well and she understood me. Granted that was partially due to the fact that she couldn’t get out of my head, but we were okay with that. With her, I could truly relax when I got to our quarters, now I’m just restless and am struggling to get good restful sleep. Admittedly I find this place to feel pretty safe which is probably why I came in when I shouldn’t have.”

Internally, there seems to be a skit going on. Visualizations of the arguments with NEnsign Kein and how they would have gone differently with Sharah. Ashlyn shook her head again, jarring herself from those thoughts. “Sorry, I seem to have a bad habit of unfairly comparing the new roommate to the previous one.”

  • Ensign Ashlyn Trenton
    Security, USS Europa

She waited, quite patiently as she had before, letting Ashlyn examine herself and come to her own realizations. “It is okay and totally normal to feel sad, lonely and even lost when a dear friend goes away. It can be jarring when they are replaced at least physically by someone so completely unlike them. I actually had this concern when you first arrived. It’s one of the reasons that academy mates don’t bunk together. You need to have experiences with people of all types, especially since the whole of your existence is going to be with all types and not just Sharah. You became dependent on her being there and while limited co-dependency is healthy and helpful, being too co-dependent on someone can lead to serious issues.”

“It seems to me that you have some work to do. There must be some valuable traits in your new roommate or else she wouldn’t be on our ship. You will have to actually work at creating boundaries and agreements to make your space livable for you both. Conversations will need to happen about each person’s needs and expectations. You had little to no boundaries with Sharah and that isn’t healthy for either of you. Your new rooming situation will require more work on your part in communication and active listening.”

“If you are entirely incompatible, that’s something that can be brought up with the XO for reassignment of your living situation, but you have to at least try to make it work. You will not always be super compatible with people you work and live with, but you still have to make it work.”

Nox, CNS

Ashlyn ran through memories of all her interactions with NEnsign Kein to find the ones she could pull positive traits from. The counselor was right that Ashlyn wouldn’t get along with everyone, but there wasn’t a need to. As long as Ensign Trenton could maintain a professional relationship with others, no matter who they were, there wouldn’t be any issues at all. This didn’t change Ashlyn’s opinion of NEnsign Kein, still seen as a horrible person with no respect for people’s privacy. This led to an idea for the Ensign though, she could use this as a form of information control instead. Make sure what information Kein passes on is either false or not private for anyone other than Kein. A new strategy of security protocols and an opportunity to hone skills she can use later made itself apparent to the young ensign. “I understand counselor, I shall endeavor to build a productive relationship with her though I still feel she has a clashing personality.”

Sienna wasn’t sure Ashlyn really understood, or if she understood and was choosing to take it in a different direction than intended. Still, people had to make their own mistakes. If Ashlyn was going to try and dupe her roommate, Sienna wasn’t going to stop her. Ashlyn had to learn.

Ashlyn will have to talk to the doctor later, it’s starting to look like she’ll be more driven to the ‘Internal Affairs’ goal. “I try to build reasonable working relationships with my teammates and those have been pretty good save for how nosey they tend to be. Or it could be that I’m being too private a person? I’m not sure honestly. I know we trust each other with our duties and responsibilities, but beyond that is kind of…I’m not sure, personal? I’m overthinking this aren’t I?”

  • Ensign Ashlyn Trenton
    Security, USS Europa

“Perhaps look at it as less ‘nosey’ and more genuine desire to get to know you as a person? I’m not saying you can’t have private things, but perhaps you are a bit too quickly to discount their questions as nosey. How are they to become friends with you, if you are not sharing part of yourself with them? I don’t mean on a mind meld level, but being a bit vulnerable and putting trust in others isn’t a bad thing. Sometimes it doesn’t work, but that is a part of living and learning. Being on the fringes and having no real connections to people is not all it is cracked up to be.”

Nox, CNS

Ashlyn pondered this for a moment then came up with a question to ask. “Do we count as having a ‘real connection’? How do you define this? At what point is it no longer real or too much? I only ask because I feel what we,” Ashlyn gestured between herself and the counselor, “define ‘real connection’ differently. For example, I believe the connection I have between myself and Lieutenant Clodagh is real. Even though I don’t really get along with her, even my connection between myself and NEnsign Kein is real. I consider connections made with the Holographic persona on the holodeck, however, are not real. So how do you define it so I can be sure to be on the same page.”

  • Ensign Ashlyn Trenton
    Security, USS Europa

She nodded. “In this context, I mean an interpersonal connection that has a closeness to it. There is a comfort of the person’s presence. You allow yourself to be vulnerable around them. Together you make a real friendship. You know more about each other than the average watercooler disclosures. You spend time in each other’s presence outside of work or whatever hobby you have in common.”

“There is a sort of hierarchy of connection. Light connection is acquaintance level. Medium connection is colleagues though they can sometimes become the deep connection level which is friendship. And if you want to define our connection, it is doctor to patient which is also a deep connection but not the kind I am speaking of when I speak of real connections. I want you off the fringes of the room or the dark booth in the corner and out there among people making friends and figuring out people.”

Nox, CNS

Ashlyn hesitated, being a social person wasn’t really her thing. She was more comfortable sticking to the sides, dark shadows, or small crawl spaces where she could analyze and investigate for a few days before approaching a person. Even her own work team she studied as much as she could before getting onto the ship. The idea of jumping into the middle of a group of people to say ‘Hey ho there, let’s all be friends’ just sounded insane and dangerous. Okay, sure, she wouldn’t say that exactly, but inserting herself into the middle of people randomly still didn’t feel right.

However, this was a goal set in place by the counselor and therefor had reason. Ashlyn tried to see the practical application for such social skills for her own goals and was able to piece together a lack of social awkwardness and the ability to blatantly interact with others would lead to more fruitful investigations. It’s easier to investigate people from inside their social circles than from outside. Ashlyn relented that this was a necessary step toward her own goals and she needed to accept that. “Going to have to learn to be a social butterfly. Admittedly, when off duty, I do teach Parkour to those that are interested. It’s a great escape point for me and allows some crew interaction. That’s only for about an hour and a half though. Outside of that I’ve been putting together presentations on theoretical upgrades, perhaps I should shift more of that time to being…social.”

  • Ensign Ashlyn Trenton
    Security, USS Europa

Sienna listened to the voiced conversation and the internal monologues of Ashlyns mind with equal analytical skill. If Ashlyn wanted to get into the more covert work of security, she would need to be exceptional at interpersonal relationships. She would need to be steady and have a firm grasp on her self awareness. What she wanted was more than scanning corridors for intruders and providing protection detail. Even those things required some of the abilities that Trenton lacked. It was going to take time and effort on Trenton’s part to gain those skills.

“Teaching your parkour course is an excellent social avenue, but it also puts you in the role of teacher rather than social equal, so yes, I would like you to shift to more social interactions. I want you to practice and work on your communication skills, especially with your bunkmate. You need to learn to live in close proximity with people you may not find a perfect fit because that is necessary to your ability to remain fleet bound in Star Fleet.”

Nox, CNS


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