Posted by Lieutenant Commander Avik (XO) in Side Sim- Self Reflections, XO’s Office

Posted by Lieutenant Siennadye Nox (Counselor) in Side Sim- Self Reflections, XO’s Office

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Avik (XO) in Side Sim- Self Reflections, XO’s Office
Posted by… suppressed (1) by the Post Ghost! 👻
[snip]
Sienna was able to school her features to not show the amusement she held in Avik’s butchering of the age old adage. She had no idea personally where it had come from or why it was the way it was so she decided to not try and correct the woman. Her focus stayed on the subject at hand, that of Avik’s avoidance. “Alright. I can say you aren’t wrong, but you also aren’t acknowledging the whole of the consequences. When we avoid or leave trauma in the past, yes we can, at least in the short term, be out of its influence. However, when we do that, we are sometimes letting it build up steam somewhere in our mind, ready to lash out when we least expect it. I don’t want to force anything of you, but I do want you to consider that perhaps in time, we should address the trauma to make sure that if it does rear its ugly head, you will have the tools to face it and minimize its affect on you when it does.”

Nox, CNS

(Sorry for the run ons)

Mentally Avik sighed. It was different to hear it from an outside perspective with no direct blood connections to herself. At this point, the issues had risen twice and far too much for her own approval. She wanted it to stop, but… a primal instinct in her wanted to flee. It took all her strength not to turn in her leave from Europa and seek other experiences elsewhere in Starfleet.

Maybe, even with her distance, she had begun to grow attached to the crew.

Avik’s tone remained steady and unemotional, but the word choice depicted the feelings of exhaustion and concern. She leaned back into her chair for a more comfortable posture.

It was always a risk to push someone in therapy, to make them confront that they may in fact have something to work through. Sometimes, it resulted in a blow up. Sometimes, it resulted the person avoiding her. This time though… and it took all her willpower not to stand up and cheer or disclose her emotions to her patient… her patient took in her words and considered them fully resulting in a break through. These moments were the moments a therapist lived for. The change in physical comfort was tangible.

“It has already surfaced far too many times. Unless an individual experienced it themselves, I do not think anyone can fully relate to what it is like not to feel in control of their own emotions. To feel sorrow or happiness, and realize that it is being forced upon you by someone else. It makes you question where yourself begins and where the other individual ends…”

Sienna nodded slowly, understanding more than most.

She paused to wet her tongue.

“The issue here is that I do not know what tools to use besides simply avoiding it.”

–XO, Avik, Lt. Cmdr

Again she nodded, setting down her drink before turning back to Avik with understanding and sympathy in her countenance. Not pity though. Avik was a strong person who did not need pity. Gently, she replied, “I know of some tools that we can work with. The key though is that we can do this together. You don’t have to face this struggle on your own. Not only am I qualified to help, but I want to. Even if perchance the tools I know are less helpful than we would like, we will work together to find more solutions. I want to be on your team, so let me.”

Nox, CNS

The idea of help brought forth a strange mix of emotions against her will. A wound to her pride, fear of judgment, and strongest of all a sense of relief. Silence stretched a moment as Avik absorbed the counselor’s offer to assist her.

“I regret to say, it is difficult to allow others to help. However, I am starting to see I can not do this alone.” She swallowed down the dryness then continued.

“We can experiment and see what comes from it. Understand that I will have low expectations until we have results.”

–XO, Avik, Lt. Cmdr

OOC: Small bump so we can pull this to the end.
-Janice B.