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Avik's Office

Posted Nov. 9, 2021, 2:07 p.m. by Lieutenant Junior Grade Cassidy Abrams (Chief of Security) (Lindsay B)

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Avik (XO) in Avik’s Office

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Cassidy Abrams (Chief of Security) in Avik’s Office

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Avik (XO) in Avik’s Office
Posted by… suppressed (8) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Cassidy nodded slowly as she carried the items over to Avik’s desk. For a moment though she just gazed off to the side, pondering if she was crossing a line here, but ultimately knew that her and Vora’s friendship was strong. This would be okay… or so she hoped. “Vora won’t say so to you, but she’s very embarrassed about what happened. For her, it’s that situation on that planet where you were all captured all over again. She’s had a pretty hard life Commander, and so sometimes she gets triggered. She has a lot of her own trauma that she’s worked through, but it doesn’t mean it can’t surface now and again. It’s not the first time she’s broken an arm, but then to also be stuck in a small space was overwhelming for her. I think… perhaps, she’s worried you will think even less of her than she believes you already do, even if you haven’t said so to her. Despite how amazing she is as an officer, and how far she’s come, she still carries these threads of self-doubt.”

Abrams, COS

Avik paused and weighed the words. A moment passed before she broke the silence, relating to the subject at hand.

“I know she’s a remarkable individual. Her mental health was my primary concern after the ship incident. I don’t want to dismiss her, but rather seek out other solutions. Even if it meant avoiding the triggers by excluding her on away missions.” It was the same feelings that Avik held when she first approached the Captain over the officer’s fate on Europa.

“Trauma is something I’m familiar with on both a personal level and during my medical career. I hold myself to the same standards. If I think less of anyone, it is myself. I failed to keep her emotions separated from mine and instead, lost control. Something a Vulcan is taught never to allow happen.” Avik, with a sober expression, placed a picture of her mate and her standing next to each other.

“I can understand that,” Abrams said softly.

Despite the indifferent expressions, she vividly recalled the event and its emotions fondly. A happiness flooded between them as they held hands. It was a blissful time before his loss. While she had moved on, she had to face the fact she still missed that depth of connection with other male dearly. He would’ve known what to do or at least how to deal with this pit of emotions within her.

“Sadly, I don’t believe anything I will say will hush her self-doubt. If anything happens, I expect us to have heightened wariness toward each other or avoid one another.” From her words, Avik turned to the replicator.

“I think it’s time for a break. Would you like something to drink?”

–XO, Avik, Lt. Cmdr

“I’d love a coffee,” Cassidy said, taking a seat in front of the desk. “Milk, no sugar.”

For a moment as Avik went to gather the order, Cassidy pondered and decided that yes, she’d speak up. “I think your conclusion is wrong, Commander. About your words having no affect on Vora. I think it would be good here to remember that silence has its own meaning and that can lead to misinterpretation of your beliefs. I am Vora’s best friend, and I’m not breaking any confidences here in saying that some reassurance on your part might actually help her a great deal and thus your interactions with her would improve.”

Abrams, COS

Avik pressed in the buttons on the console then watched the replicator materialize the beverages. She had herbal tea. The vapors wafted over her, her nostrils inhaled and her nerves began to settle. She took the mug then offered it to Cassidy before she offered a seat.

Fingers slipping through the handle, Cassidy settled back in her chair and took a sip.

“Perhaps. I am also aware of some subtle hints that people give when they rather avoid a situation or person. I’ve subconsciously given them myself. I am not one to force others to endure casual company when they do not want it.” She recalled the orchestra invitation and Zorell’s withdrawal when Avik offered her ears to aid. During that time, the XO didn’t push or pry.

Avik kept her hand from tightening on her tea cup as she took a sip.

“At this point, doing the wrong thing could cause her to go backwards rather than forward. That doesn’t benefit anyone, wouldn’t you agree?” She didn’t hold any hostility, but rather a blunt factual attitude in her voice.

“If it helps, I intend on addressing it at some point. However, it is a delicate matter for both of us and I need more insight on the proper approach. Simply giving her a random compliment or reassurance might seem like I’m mocking her and worsen the issue. It is personal experience that makes me cautious.”

–XO, Avik, Lt. Cmdr

“You’re overthinking it. You’re the XO, yes? Think of this as an opportunity to get to know someone on the crew better so that you can assess how you can get the best out of them. Vora’s really smart. But she only knows what she knows. And I can say her people did number on her and she came from difficult circumstances. It took her quite awhile when she first came here after gradation to let down her guard and show people who she really was.” Cass paused to take a sip of her coffee. “Permission to speak frankly, Commander?”

Abrams, COS

“You’re asking a Vulcan not to think about all possible outcomes.” Avik commented, putting her tea down.

At this point, Avik started to shut herself off from her own emotions. An icy coldness settled in her chest and spread through her veins killing any anxiety that tried to anchor within. The CoS was primarily focused on Vora and her issues, but didn’t acknowledge the rest.

If she hadn’t been a Vulcan, she might’ve acted irrationally and dismissed the woman. Instead, Avik let her continue. Eventually the conversation would taper off as neither of them could stay away from their duties for too long.

“Permission granted.” She stated without hesitating.

Avik braced herself internally for Cassidy to continue to defend Vora. In some statements, it started to feel like Cassidy was subtly pinning responsibility to resolve this on her shoulders only. It was an assumption that was doomed to failure.

She focused on the numbness when Abrams began to talk.

–XO, Avik, Lt. Cmdr

Cassidy inhaled deeply and then spoke, calmly, thoughtfully. “You say you need more insight so that you can approach the situation and Vora better. I don’t disagree. But until you get to know Vora herself, I don’t think you’re going to get that. She isn’t going to come to you, because, and this is just a confident hypothesis based on the years I’ve known her, at the end of the day she doesn’t trust you with regards to her career. I don’t know if you’re aware, but after she was removed from away team duty, her confidence tanked in part because a lot of the crew was gossiping about it. It might have been the logical action to take, and possibly the right one, but there were negative consequences for Vora and her career and until you both openly address that, I think you’ll both remain just where you are now. And I don’t know what exactly went down in the turbolift, but I do know that Vora will share her side of it with you if she feels sure it won’t be used against her as a weapon. I think if you two could sit down and openly share what it is you need form the other, you’ll find a way forward. That’s my hunch, anyway.”

Abrams, COS

Avik held on dearly to that numbness. A cold and soothing balm to her emotions that threatened to stir once more. She suspected that some damage had been done, but it was unavoidable. If she had been human, things might’ve been different. However, emotions were rarely considered a part of the equation for life and duty in the Vulcan world. What had resulted from it couldn’t be undone by wishful thinking. She let a polite moment of silence pass to show Cassidy she had absorbed the statement.
Unfortunately, the recent events had started to pile up and take their toil. The numbness wasn’t as effective as it usually was. Avik swallowed. She pushed her clamoring mind away in favor of a cold logic. Avik needed to stop acknowledging her emotions in this issue. She was a senior officer and her responsibility was to the ship above any single individual. Including herself.

The XO let that fact spur her onward. “Thank you for your insight. I will do my best to keep it in mind and I will try to resolve this soon. Now, is there anything else you require?”

Avik knew that Cassidy’s original priority was most likely complete now.

–XO, Avik, Lt. Cmdr

Abrams shook her head. “No, though I could ask you the same thing? I did come down here to make sure you were alright after all.” It was a clear dismissal, but the image of the distraught XO was still fresh in her mind and she didn’t want to leave unless Avik was actually okay, or fine to deal with it on her own.

Abrams, COS


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