Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Vora Zorell (Scientist) in Johann’s Quarters- Suspicions

Posted by Captain Johann Dvorak (CO) in Johann’s Quarters- Suspicions

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Vora Zorell (Scientist) in Johann’s Quarters- Suspicions

(snip)

“She’ll know that I have figured it out,” he continued, thinking aloud. “She probably already does. So, she and I are going to have to talk about it. There’s not going to be an ‘if’ when it comes to addressing it. We just need to address it sensitively, while still maintaining appropriate boundaries.” He seemed to stare off into space for a moment as if he pondered those last few words, and then looked back at Vora.

She met his mechanical and vivid gaze with her own maroon eyes. For a moment Vora just… looked.

“We might have to… umm… be somewhat more… gracious… towards certain kinds of behavior for the interim period than we otherwise would be.”

– Johann Dvorak, CO

Chest expanding, Vora drew in a breath that was supposed to be calming. “And vice-versa? She will have to as well. It’s more than a little unnerving that she had such a deep and intimate relationship with a person who for all I know is you, and that there may or may not be that many differences.” Her stomach twisted and she frowned, turning towards Johann a bit more. “I don’t like this feeling in myself but you two have a sort of connection that is…” She shook her head and looked away. “I don’t want to be jealous. It feels beneath me. And I know she had done nothing to interfere with us. And back on Tenra I’d probably drown the emotions I’m feeling in alcohol, but that’s not an option so I have to find a way to deal with them somehow.”

~Vora Zorell, Sciences

Johann raised an eyebrow raised at the mention of alcohol. This is taking a dark turn, he thought.

“It’s probably best to just admit that you have them,” he said, wondering how to put what he was thinking into words. “I mean… I think having complex feelings doesn’t make someone a bad person. You can and should let yourself feel them; the trick is that you don’t have to act on them. It’s how we choose to act that makes the difference, morally.”

Vora nodded, if slowly. Admitting the way she was feeling in this moment was a result of all the hard work she’d done wafter her relapse. Thought there was much time between then and now, you didn’t just cease to be an addict. The painful lesson she had learned then was that she would be forever in recovery, and that if she got to complacent it would be all too easy to accidentally slip. And that would be her downfall. Admitting she even wanted something to numb her emotions right now was important, not just for her but Johann too. He was a part of this continual process.

“I already chose to marry you. I’m not changing that. When I made that decision… actually quite a few years before then… that necessarily meant I wasn’t going to let myself indulge in romantic behavior with other women. That would include…”

He paused for a moment, looking away and turning palpably frustrated. “You know, we need some sort of convention to tell them apart if we’re going to keep talking through this quantum reality nonsense. English wasn’t made to talk about the manure of the multiverse.” He took a pause to compose himself, though he hoped his point was clear enough.

– Johann Dvorak, CO

She nodded. “Maybe it’s as simple as referring to the one here right now as Sienna, because that’s how she wants us to address her on a casual basis and we ca refer to the other version we’d known as Siennadye? Or Nox. Either way, that might help.”

~Vora Zorell, Sciences

“Okay, that works,” he said.

“That would include Siennadye, with whom I had a very unique connection. One that wasn’t romantic in nature. It was just a kind of… like… whispering. I mean, in practice. For some reason my thoughts are especially easy to hear for her. So that became a kind of side conversation that other people couldn’t listen in on. But that’s it.”

Was it though? he wondered briefly. He had to be a little honest here; he did miss it once she was assigned off of the ship. A lot. Perhaps more than he should have. He could see rather easily how it would have happened if things were just a little different. But he wasn’t going to dwell on that here.

“I don’t even have that with Sienna. I mean, I gather that she’s capable of it, but she avoids doing it. Now it makes sense as to why. And if there’s more of it now, it isn’t going to lead to anything, because I’m not that man she’s missing. I’m the man who is marrying you.”

– Johann Dvorak, CO