Posted by Captain Johann Dvorak (CO) in Arboretum - Sienna Comes Clean

Posted by Lieutenant Siennadye Nox (Counselor) in Arboretum - Sienna Comes Clean

Posted by Captain Johann Dvorak (CO) in Arboretum - Sienna Comes Clean
Posted by… suppressed (3) by the Post Ghost! 👻

SNIP

“Yes. Basically. We had a connection even though we had never met. I felt his frustration at the implants. He was never my patient, but I helped anyway.” She smiled
with less sadness as she thought back to the day they met. “I think he was intrigued enough by me to take his mind off his implants.”

Nox, cns

“Probably,” Johann said. “I’m guessing that you were also the only person on the ship who wasn’t treating him with pity or dread.”

She grimaced, knowing that this Johann must have dealt with it more than her husband due to her presence on the Korolev. She knew and understood the pain of it and also knew that this Johann never really faced it.

There was still a bit of bitterness at the thought of it. Like most of the things that he just didn’t feel like dealing with, he had shelved it. That was very effective for things that didn’t need to be actively confronted; he’d quickly forget about whatever it was, tucked away in its tidy little compartment.

What were you wearing? The question popped into his head, a passing idle curiosity. Almost immediately he regretted it; he wasn’t actually interested in the answer and he certainly did not intend to ask it.

She took in a breath and looked away as his errant thought hit her mind. There were downsides to the connection they had. He wasn’t going to ask it aloud, she was certain of that. Even if he had the gall to ask, she wouldn’t have answered that she had been in her nightgown and had been bare foot.

“So, I know now. As does my fiancee. Now you know what we know, so all of us are on the same page. Do we need to actually… do anything… with this information?”

– Johann Dvorak, CO

Her dark eyes returned to his and she shrugged. “I don’t imagine there is anything to be done. You are not my husband and even if I was interested in pursuing some version of my life here due to the near identical person you are to him, you are not free to do so… and I am not wanting a facsimile of my life before.”

Simple enough, he thought. But simple didn’t mean easy.

“Do you or Vora imagine I am simply biding my time until I could steal you away?” She wanted her question to be light and almost managed it though there was a bitter edge to it. Sienna had done everything she could to prevent Johann or Vora from ever having to deal with this uncomfortable situation. She had lied and remained apart from everyone so that she would not burden them with her sadness. She had worked hard to garner trust and respect among the whole crew while dealing with the ghost of the previous XO and silently suffered for over two years. She felt a little hurt that Johann and Vora might feel she was out to find a replacement husband.

Nox, CNS

“Pfft, no,” he said, chuckling slightly. “No, we imagined that you just didn’t want this to be a problem. It’s pretty clear that your evil plan was to simply suffer in silence indefinitely.” He was trying to mirror her own attempt at levity, though it didn’t sound right. Probably because it wasn’t something to be light about.

She laughed softly, tears stinging her eyes as she found herself relieved that either they knew her so well, or her work had paid off. Nefarious never was her way of handling things. She closed them for a moment, the heat of her tears becoming too much. Her heart hurt so deeply even the reassurance was not enough to keep her feelings in check.

“I didn’t mean to ridicule or trivialize that,” he said a second later. She probably knew, but it was the sort of thing one had to be sensitive about.

– Johann Dvorak, CO

She shook her head and walked the few steps to the bench. Sienna sat down and placed her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands. Words couldn’t come anymore, just tears. God how she wanted her husband here to hold her.

Johann sat down next to her. He was briefly torn; Sienna clearly needed some emotional support, but would that make this better or worse?

I’m sorry. she thought to Johann, unable to utter the words.

Nox, CNS

“It’s okay,” he said aloud. He could imagine himself offering his former executive officer a hug of some sort if she were this upset about something. Then again, he also couldn’t imagine her ever being this upset about anything. Reflecting on that just made the whole thing even stranger.

“You can literally cry on my shoulder if you need to,” he said simply. He didn’t actually budge though, from where he had sat down next to her, letting her choose what to.

– Johann Dvorak, CO

Johann was right, Siennadye Nox in either universe was simply not one to fall apart. She was cool, calm, and compassionate in almost every situation. This though, was intimately personal. She just didn’t have the ability to detach from it in this moment. He wasn’t her husband, but he was her friend. And as her friend, he was offering support in the best way he knew how. He understood her to be in pain and wanted to help. Yeah she thought to him with an internal sigh, I do. Sienna laid her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his upper arm.

She let the tears come as they would, let herself in this moment be the grieving woman she was. For the first time, she let herself be completely authentic and vulnerable. She took comfort in the familiar, strange though it was. Then again, her life was strange these days.

After a while she lifted a hand to wipe her damp cheeks and sniffled. She pulled away from her friend and tried to compose herself with a little laugh. “I promise I will not always be that tragic. I don’t usually fall apart like that.”

Nox, CNS