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Alt. Universe: Runabout In Space - Operation Bedlam

Posted Dec. 6, 2022, 11:45 a.m. by Lieutenant Siennadye Nox (Counselor) (Amber DeSadier)

Posted by Captain Johann Dvorak (CO) in Alt. Universe: Runabout In Space - Operation Bedlam

Posted by Lieutenant Siennadye Nox (Counselor) in Alt. Universe: Runabout In Space - Operation Bedlam

Posted by Lieutenant Siennadye Nox (Counselor) in Alt. Universe: Runabout In Space - Operation Bedlam
Posted by… suppressed (4) by the Post Ghost! 👻

SNIP

Roz grimaced and was the first to leave, knowing she stepped in it. Zain and Thea followed whooping, slightly oblivious either on purpose or by nature. They left the two Captains and Sienna turned to Johann. She looked at him for a long time, reading the emotions cascading from him, both like and unlike her friend. She propped her left elbow on the console and placed her hand to hold onto her head at the temple. Her eyes, identical to his wife’s never left him. Finally she sighed. “I don’t know how to handle you.” She admitted softly and with a great deal of compassion.

Nox, CNS

“There’s no right answer,” Johann said plainly. “We are in a situation that is completely absurd. All I can think to do is openly acknowledge that.”

She nodded against her hand and sighed. Absurd? He could not have chosen a better word for it. Even if she went back now, she was irrevocably changed by her interactions in this universe and the man before her. She had never let herself entertain feeling anything for her friend Johann other than friendship, especially after he and Vora became an item. Now she contemplated it a lot. The Johann she knew had never been so brazen as this one. Her cheeks flushed a bit thinking of the kiss earlier.

The contemplation of the situation prompted a burst of laughter from him as he considered the deeper consequences of what he had just said. “Is that nihilism? I think it is. I think this is nihilism. I never thought I’d go all the way to nihilism. No, wait… I already did. That was before I met you. You, not my wife. Which is a distinction with some difference. Objectively, you aren’t the same. Subjectively, you are if it seems to you, or to me, like you are. Nihilistically, it’s meaningless.”

Sienna shook her head, not being able to help the grin that came to her face at his explanation.

There’s hope, he thought noting her grin. Hope for what, he had not fully thought through; it was a reflex.

Bemusement gave way to embarrassment. “I’m sorry if this is selfish,” he said as his ocular implants met her black eyes. “You’ve been through worse than I have. I don’t talk about it often, so I tend to descend into ranting when I do.”

— Johann Dvorak, CO

Sienna met his gaze and bit her lip, contemplating. “I think.... I think it would help if we do consider me and her to be two different people who know each other and I am helping you and her reunite and me to get back to my friends… hopefully. Yes I look insanely like her and have a lot of similarities, but if we keep concerning ourselves with am I or am I not, or how different is different, we will go crazy. I fully intend to take you up on the offer from earlier and I cannot imagine it working well any other way.”

“Wait, which offer?”

“And yes, I have been through a lot, but out of the three most impacted people of this situation, I think you and your wife have suffered the most. I lost my friends, but I didn’t lose my spouse. Your wife missed you a great deal and it pained her to be away from you, but I don’t want to compete with her memory in your mind.”

Nox, CNS

“Yeah I don’t think that is what’ll happen. I dunno. I don’t know what I actually feel, because I spend a lot of time trying not to feel it. I miss my wife. You are not her. I think I only raise the question of it because it’s less like cheating that way. Even though I doubt she would regard it cheating, maybe just… cheating-adjacent.”

She grimaced, not liking that concept at all. The idea that she was willing to engage in any kind of relationship with a married man, albeit a married man who’s wife has been unable to get back to this universe in 5 years and so far with no hope of returning looming, was enough to tug at her guilt hard.

He stopped. He was thinking about this now more than he usually would. “I guess I would be less bothered if she slept with him instead of someone else. It’s hard to imagine because I wouldn’t ordinarily expect it.”

– Johann Dvorak, CO

“I don’t know how she would view it, only how I would view it. I think it is less about the person my husband would be with and more about the time that has passed. I would not wish my husband to remain miserable and alone after 5 years of waiting.” She bit her lip and looked at the man who resembled her friend so much. The attraction she had hit hard now, especially after their kiss. She wanted to go to him, to kneel before him and ..... Sienna sighed wistfully. “I want a slice of happiness Johann. I want to lose myself for a while in the arms of someone I find very attractive and have respect for. I have no expectations and I honestly don’t think I could even contemplate what an expectation in this situation could be.”

She paused and bit her lip again before asking a very important question. “What do you want?”

Nox, CNS

He paused. It was an entirely fair question for her to ask. At the same time, he knew what his answer was instantly. It was not a fair answer, so he hesitated for a moment before finally saying it aloud.

“My wife.”

It’s what he really wanted. With that in focus, it made it harder to look at the woman before him, who was also in a lot of pain. He had made it worse. Especially because he had toyed with her earlier. He was too angry to feel guilty before, now he was starting to.

– Johann Dvorak, CO

She parsed this answer. Somehow, she had not expected that to be his answer, yet she really should have. The other Sienna certainly would have. Siennadye bit her lip and watched Johann. After admitting it, he couldn’t look her in the face and she wondered why. Was it because he felt guilt for kissing her, felt guilt for feeling anything for someone else, feeling for her specifically, or was it something else? Not for the first time, she wished she had some of the other Sienna’s training in psychology.

Then too was how she felt about his answer. It hurt, though she didn’t want it to. She didn’t want to admit that it stung not to be wanted with the kind of intensity he wanted his wife. She didn’t want to admit how her whole life felt upside down and her relationship to her friend in the other universe could never quite be the same if she ever got back there. She wanted to be cool and relaxed about her feelings for him in any universe, but now that Pandora’s box was opened, she felt she could not put it all entirely in the box again.

“Well, maybe one day soon I can help you get that, but not today.” She said and her mouth turned up on one corner as she rolled her eyes and sighed in frustration. She ran her fingers through her long dark hair. “If you dont want to find some comfort with me, that is fine. We have separate quarters and I am not easily offended by rejection so…”

Switching to the Captain in charge, she said, “Feel free to peruse our files on the device we have so far and our missions in trying to get access to the Alternate Universe or get some rest. We have a couple of days before we arrive.”

Nox, Captain


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