Posted by Captain Julien King (Captain) in Quarters - La’kia

(snip)

Riley’s first step into La’kia’s quarters was awkward as he felt himself bounce a bit higher than expected. The unexpected movement sent a combined jolt of excitement and uneasiness up his spine. Instinctively he put a hand out to catch Julien’s shoulder and steady himself. As Riley had steadied his Captain in the holodeck, now Julien steadied him.

Julien stepped into the lighter gravity as if it didn’t affect him at all and it didn’t. This was the first time that Riley would realise, as he held on to Julien’s android right shoulder, just how much heavier Julien’s right body half really was. No wonder his left body half had as many muscles as it had.
For Julien the lighter gravity instantly relaxed him and his human muscles, as it always had. It also of course reminded him of what it had enabled him to do… with La’kia. The thought paired with her golden eyes never failed to drive a knife through his heart. It hurt so damn much to be here and not just be with her as they used to. Now everything was different, whether he wanted it or not. That happy happy past would never come again.

“Thank you for letting us intrude, La’kia,” he said as he took a seat across the table from her. “Julien has asked me to be here while you two talk. My hope is that I can mediate with as little interjection as possible. I am not here to advocate for one person or viewpoint over another and am here at the sufferance of you both. If you ask me to leave, I will.”

“I doubt it will be necessary,” she said with a small lopsided grin. La’kia was glad to see him even if she was still disappointed that Julien wouldn’t be in the same room with her alone. Still, they were not younglings and they could have a conversation as such, couldn’t they?

Psychologists were encouraged to remove themselves from emotional entanglements with their patients, but that was impossible aboard a starship where officers became surrogate families. Riley cared deeply for both people in the room. Julien was as close a friend as he’d ever had and for those reasons he had to be hyper-conscious of his own words and actions. He couldn’t detach himself from the people in the room, but he could manage his actions and reactions.

Dekker, CNS

Julien went over to the sofa where she sat, slowly, allowing Riley to keep his hand on his shoulder. Then he sat in the chair opposite her, his eyes never leaving hers. God, why did they have to be so beautiful.

“La’kia..” he stared, but his voice sounded rough and edgy, so he cleared his throat and ran his hand through his black short curls, pulling at them lightly. Did he even know what to say? Would he ever?
His mismatched green eyes found hers again, and he marshalled his strength to keep them there. The pain he felt was obvious in his eye.

“Julien,” she said softly, though just as intensely.

“We both know what the only course of action here is under the circumstances. You can’t go with us on a deep space mission with A’naad and our daughter and you can’t give birth on Zahara to a half human child. Luckily, I’ve recorded everything about A’naad’s birth and I’ve arranged that you get the best of treatments and special care on Earth. I will speak with my parents, they love you and they will be there for you in every way you need them to, they can also babysit A’naad while you give … birth.”

La’kia wanted to add that birth was not a solitary event and it was something she wasn’t sure she was prepared for on her own. But what could she say? She hesitated.

he swallowed. The mere thought of his daughter being born lightyears away, without him at her side, without him being able to protect her was tearing him up inside and he was just hoping that Riley didn’t feel his emotions as acutely as himself.

He thought La’kia was about to say something and raised his hand quickly “One moment, let me finish this please. Because there is another alternative.” he said and now his deep voice sounded rough. His left hand fisted, this took more of his strength than a life-death situation on the bridge.

“La’kia it’s no secret among us..” and he included Riley “…that I still love you. And yes, I love Marishka too, in a very different way. I just can not be alone, I need one thing in my life that has nothing to do with Captain Julien King. It has always been my weakness. However, you and A’naad and Fl… our daughter are more important than any of that. So the alternative is me laying down my comission and taking a job, maybe even one day in Starfleet, on or near Zahara. I mean, with you as Ambassador they will join the UFP eventually and then they are entitled to a Federation ambassador or at least administrator.”

“That’s the plan I’m working on,” she said with a measure of confident pride so unlike her first days on the ship. Yes, she had grown and changed a lot of the last few years.

he drew in a deeper breath and his left eye was shiny as he looked at Riley with an apologetic look on his face. “I admit, I didn’t fully mean it the first time I offered it, but I mean it now. There are many Starfleet Captains in the UFP. But our children only have one father.”

• Julien King

“I know you didn’t,” La’kia said softly. “It’s why I said no on Zahara. I knew you felt desperate to keep things as they were even when everything was starting to speed up and change.”

La’kia pushed herself to her feet and moved away from the sofa, exhaling audibly. She rubbed her face tiredly, but it wasn’t just a physical fatigue. Everything had been a whirlwind of changes and emotions and duty that she’d scarcely had a chance to breathe and figure it all out. That apparently wasn’t going to change anytime soon. But something about his words, his adamant proposal made her smirk a bit. “Oh Julien, you do see the irony here, right? All this time you wanted us to have a traditional monogamous Human relationship, which I resisted and couldn’t find my way fully to the middle. And here we are now with you loving two females, who do love you back and I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, I’m not bothered by Marishka. I want you to be happy. I want you to have the companionship you need. If that comes from her, I’m fine with that. But we both know we can’t just cut the ties between us so easily, and that surprised me in those days after you left Zahara so angrily. That physical distance between us was… difficult for me, let alone A’naad.” Oh how her son had cried himself to sleep in those days afterwards and she hadn’t been able to tell him anything remotely positive because Julien had left without saying farewell to his son, so it had been impossible to know what would happen next.

She took a step closer to him and Ryley but still kept some space. “Your offer on one hand makes me very happy. And if I didn’t have anything else to consider, I’d say yes this instant. But we can’t decide anything just now in this moment and you know that. This is going to take some discussion, with you, me and Marishka. But it’s not fair to make decisions like this without her. Not if you love her as you say you do.” She took a brief breath and continued. “My life is speeding up and becoming more intense and busy than I ever thought possible,” she said as she moved back to the sofa. Sitting down next to Ryley, she offered him a smile and then leaned forward, her golden eyes intense.

“I’m not just Zahara’s Ambassador, Julien. I have a fairly solid group of supporters who are encouraging me to allow my name to be submitted for Chief Eldership… of Zahara! No one as young as I has ever done the job, and no one who wasn’t Chief Elder of a kijia first has ever been selected. But in my rather disbelieving discussions with them I realized I already have been acting as an Elder for my people. I’ve been carving this strange and beautiful path without seeing what I was actually doing. And when we went home and I started having those meetings Julien, I saw for the first time the possibilities that have come about simply by my having been here on the Genesis and advocating for more exploration.” She was positively vibrating with excitement and it was something she was clearly passionate about.

“I can’t make that decision for you, nor would I try to influence you one way or another. But since I can tell that this time you are sincere about your offer, then I can say I am open to the possibility of you joining us, even if it’s not full-time. Our children are going to grow up during this wonderful time and I do want you to be a part of that as well, in whatever way makes the most sense for all of us. Because I do love you and I won’t lie and say it’s not been lonely this last while. I miss you, but like me, we can’t be held down by the expectations of others. It’s too damaging. So I offer you simply the opportunity and we can figure out what that looks like exactly.” Oh how she wanted to have him hold her, but he had keeping that distance so purposefully that she didn’t want to intrude where she wasn’t welcome. She truly did not want to cause him pain, but he also had to stop shutting her out.

~La’kia, Ambassador