Earth - I'll Make 'Em An Offer They Can't Refuse

Posted July 15, 2021, noon by Civilian Seamus McKenzie (Future Citizen) (James Sinclair)

Posted by Civilian Ragna Idun McKenzie (Future Citizen) in Earth - I’ll Make ‘Em An Offer They Can’t Refuse

Posted by Civilian Seamus McKenzie (Future Citizen) in Earth - I’ll Make ‘Em An Offer They Can’t Refuse


Cuyler looked at Mike then to Seamus and back to Mike and started laughing again. Cuyler wiped his face takin’ a deep breath and looked at Mike, “You didn’t do a thing to my little princess, did ya Mike?” And he started laughing again.


Mike lost it all over again laughing and fell off the log… all over again. Seamus shook his head and then lifted Mike off the ground and back onto the log. “At some point, you lads are either gonna have to let me in on the joke; or you’re gonna toss laughing like that. Either way, I’m gonna get a chuckle outta the two of ya.” He looked back at the village and then down at the two.

“All right, all right… let’s see if’n we can’t stand and walk a bit, shall we boys? C’mon… on yer feet.” he said and grabbed one wrist each and heaved them forward. They managed to stand… swaying heavily… and Seamus put a hand on one shoulder each and then began guiding them back.


Cuyler stumbled along but kept his feet looking at the village, pride covering his face. He spotted Helka moving around the village center with the girls. He stopped suppressing a laugh and threw an arm around Seamus’ shoulder, pulling him close in a mock whisper. “Ya boy here.....hahahaha…he married Revnachuckles. See Revna…she’s a princess. Swear to Odin. Actually, more laughter they all are. But Revna, she gets the title and lands and responsibility. The other two just get the honorific. But that makes Mike a prince!” And Cuyler started laughing again, loudly and from the village Helka looked up at the sound, hands on hips. “Uh oh…she’s mad…come ‘ere.” Cuyler tugged Seamus and Seamus’s grip on Mike pulled them both along down a side path. “See the trick is…hehehe…make ‘em feel like they’re your princess. I’m gonna go remind Helka now.” He paused turned back to his sons, “Mike can explain why Revna is mad.” And he slipped off into the dark. A minute later a yell, worthy of a berserker, was heard, “Helka I Love Ya!” and Cuyler appeared from around a building, rushed Helka, tried to pick her up, missed, fell flat on his back, pulling Helka down with him. Everything got really really quiet and then Runa, “OH GET A ROOM!”


Seamus looked at Mike and said “Ok, lad. YOU just stay here and sway a bit. I’m gonna take care ‘a the mad Viking on the ground.” He moved over to Cuyler, helping Helka extract herself form the drunken octopus embrace Cuyler was trying to wrap her up in. “Here, here… let go ‘a that. NO! No sir! Not in public, you don’t!” and he finally got Helka to her feet. “You get the door, I’ll get Da.” and he bent over and grabbed an arm and then threw Cuyler over his shoulder and stood up and turned to the house…

Ragna and Runa came over, helping as best they could to drag their mother free, but all three women were laughing with tears in their eyes, and Runa was busy trying to record it all with her micro PaDD. Runa looked her mother dead in the eye, “If Da EVER asks again where I get it from, I’m showing him this video.” The village was only inhabited by the elders, the younger members in Scotland. A couple of the men came to try and help, but realized they were making it worse and got out of the way. Helka, finally free, blushing ten shades of red, and going redder as the village erupted in cheers and cat calls, hurried to open the door.

Just in time to hear hoof-beats and a giant horse go tearing past with a drunken Scot on the back whooping and hollering “Revna! Wife! Princess! I’ll save you from the terrible dragon! I’m your Prin-” and Mike’s voice was cut off as his head met the sign above the tannery and he was sent flying backwards and and onto his back, unconscious.

Seamus looked at Mike with his jaw hanging open, looked at the women, looked back at Mike, then shook his head and looked at the two sisters.

“I’m telling Revna you did that.” and he walked into the house to pour Cuyler into bed.


Runa was laughing so hard she sat down right where she was standing, “I will take credit for that!” By sheer luck she’d got the whole thing on the PaDD. She kept laughing until Ragna suddenly started to yell. “MIKE!” and ran for him. Runa cussed, ran after her, and grabbed her by the arms. “Ragna, calm down hun. He’s fine. He’s so drunk his body was too loose to feel it. Go…go get Kirsten. I’ve got Mike.” Ragna fought with her a minute until Runa shook her, gently but hard enough to get her attention. “Go! Get Kirsten.” Ever since she fell and got so hurt as a child Ragna tended to panic when there was a horse related accident. Runa moved over to Mike and knelt down, “Oh boy are you gonna feel it in the morning. I think your shiny amour might have some dents and your noble steed…AH CRAP!” She looked around, Aotrom was gone. He would have followed after Crescent, and Revna was out riding in the dark, bareback....She grabbed the first gelding she came to, threw on a saddle and bridle, mounted and was gone.

Kirsten returned with Ragna and knelt down next to Mike, flipping open a tricorder. “Well he’s got two goose eggs, one in front and one in the back, and he’s really drunk, lucky he’s drunk. His back is going to really hurt, and his hip. Thank gods his neck is fine.” She looked at Ragna, “Where’s Runa and Revna?” Ragna, looked around, “She took off after Da and Mike made her mad. Da rushed mom, tried to carry her off....Seamus, Runa, and I had to drag him off Mom, Seamus carried him inside....Mike…oh gods..” and she started to laugh again, “He took off after Revna, hit the tannery sign and knocked himself off the horse....” and she was laughing harder. “Why couldn’t Revna had been here to see this? Runa took off to catch his horse.”

Helka came out of the house holding her sides, saw Kirsten and her lack of panic and leaned against the house. “Oh I’m gonna have to hide out at Runa’s house tonight....” Runa rode back up about that time. Aotrom following along on a lead rope. Runa swung down and shook her head at the still unconscious from of her brother. Aotrom wandered over looking confused at Mike on the ground as if trying to figure out why he was on the ground. He snuffled over him and then lipped his shirt and started pulling at him. Then he head butted him in the side trying to move him. Then, as a last ditch effort, a very very large and wet tongue swiped itself across Mike’s entire face all at once. Runa looked at her mother, “You know Da’s gonna feel awful in the morning.” Helka laughed harder, “Yep and he deserves it. Though I’m not sure Mike deserved that” and she nodded toward the prone young man. “You see Revna?” Runa shook her head, “Briefly saw a flash of her and Cresent racing the tide across the beach. She’ll be back soon.” Runa led her horse back into the stable and then came back for Aotrom, but he wouldn’t budge away from Mike.

The Edmans

There was a low groan and Mike slowly stirred. Aotrom pushed him with his head and Mike said “I really hope that was the horse licking me, otherwise Revna is gonna be pissed.” and the his eyes popped open and he said “Revna!” and he sat up and then yelled “Owwwwwww!” and grabbed his head. “Who hit me with a shovel? And would you make ‘em stop already?” At that moment Seamus came out of the house. He looked at Helka and said “He’s asking for you… but I wouldn’t. He’s kinda handsy right now.” and he adjusted his belt back to the front. He looked at Mike and smiled. “I swear, that boy could drink every bit of mead in your entire distillery and still be able to walk. Ride a horse? Not so much… but walk…” and he walked over and bent over and looked at Mike upside down.

“How’s it hangin’, cowboy?” and grinned.

Mike headbutted him and both men cried and laughed in pain.

Seamus and Michael McKenzie

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