STF

Expanding the Offerings

Posted Jan. 23, 2023, 8:06 a.m. by Captain Eela Dasca (Lt. Governor) (Lindsay B)

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Sharah Fayth (Chief Star Fleet Medical Officer) in Expanding the Offerings

Posted by Captain Eela Dasca (Lt. Governor) in Expanding the Offerings

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Sharah Fayth (Chief Star Fleet Medical Officer) in Expanding the Offerings
Posted by… suppressed (1) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Eela couldn’t read Sharah’s thoughts, but she could observe the emotions mixed with the body language and understand intrinsically what was behind her reaction, and paired it with her earlier blush when explaining the paper ripping exercise. She beamed back. “I am so glad for you. There is nothing better than finding a situation that fills your needs in unexpected ways. For you, this fundraiser truly will be a chance to just be more social and find ways in which that isn’t invasive for you. I hope it works in your favour.”

~Eela Dasca, Lt. Gov.

Sharah snorted, “It is going to take so much more than a fundraiser and an insane and nosey amount of attention on me to make socializing easier.” The whole thing was actually making her anxious, and it wasn’t even close yet. Sharah did better in very small groups and she was content and happy with that. She was going to have to do this though. “Okay, so you ate going to have to help me figure this out. Even if you manage to dissuade Shrine, I need help.” Sharah chuckled slightly, “And you better have a game plan when you talk to her. She’s more logical than a Vulcan and more determined than a Ferengi after profits.”

Fayth, SFCMO

Dasca leaned forward, resting her chin on laced fingers and pointed in the general direction of the pad of paper. “You and I both know that that list means that it’s incredibly important fr me to do this, even if my instinct is to run and hide. So much of my life is public here and can be quite open, but there are some areas I am much more private about. My relationships have always been one of those areas. And yes, this is simply and invitation to share a meal with me, but… it’s more than that and we both know it.” She drew in a steading breath. “Those false words, those lies? I’ve been thinking about where I’ve heard them before and most of the time the topics and sometimes even the words themselves came from fights with Cory. Times when the man before me felt like an utter stranger, Sharah. It is going to take everything I have, all my strength to walk out there that night, looking fantastic and giving a genuine smile because very few people know how scared I am to even let another person into my heart in a way that is possibly romantic, even if it is the fundamental way I am. I want to be her again, to feel that thrill of possibility. So Shrine doesn’t need to convince me. I need to reclaim this piece of myself. But she, and the others involved in organizing this, might need to know that they need to be gentle with me. Because it’s a lot. It’s a big step for me after a very hard several years.”

~Eela Dasca, Lt. Gov.

Sharah listened and she felt. “I think the trepidation is probably worse than the reality. But I think at the very least you will see how you want to move forward.” Sharah leaned forward, “I’m going to put my doctor hat on a moment. Our new CNS has arrived. I know her, she is very good. Whether you participate or not, I think you should talk to her about those lies and false words. As your friend I will always listen, but as someone who has been in counseling her entire life, having someone with a removed point of view is priceless.”

“Counsellor, heal thyself?” Dasca said with a lopsided smirk, unlacing her fingers as she sighed. “It’s been awhile since I’ve seen a therapist. There wasn’t really time before I got this job and now…” She shook her head. “I can make he time and I suppose it’s time to take stick of what all has changed.” Because she had changed even since those days post-Steadfast where she was recovering from her injuries. It was no long about the changes to her cognitive processes and coming to terms with her medically-induced retirement. The last time she’d been in therapy was after that last terrible marriage counselling session with Cory. The one he said they didn’t need and resented the hell out of. Ironic he tried to use therapy as a bargaining chip in order to get her to stay.

“Now, if you want to be the old you again, what would she do to get ready for this?”

Fayth SFCMO

Eela smiled. “She would have gone out, found a new sexy dress that made her feel amazing, and not even questioned any of it,” she said, placing her hands on her abdomen, feeling the anti-grav brace that took effort to conceal. She was good at that now too. But maybe that was still her hiding from reality. Anyone who scoffed at her because it was obvious she needed the brace wasn’t damn well worth her time and energy. But there was vulnerability in publicly displaying to strangers a physical difference that was uncomfortable for her. Not just because of how she still struggled with where her body was at some days, but because she knew all too well it could be used against her. But that was what she had security for, right? As awkward as needing that sort of protection was, and the realization that she wasn’t nearly an agent for her own safety as she used to be, Eela also understood that she was going to have to trust everyone not to do her harm. On a planet where the word assassination was bandied about like the funniest inside joke, it terrified her.

~Eela Dasca, Lt. Gov.


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