STF

Frontier Town (Tag Thyr)

Posted March 22, 2023, 8:29 p.m. by Civilian Thyr Th'arialat (Resident) (Lucas Foxley)

Posted by Civilian Jezem (Upstanding Citizen) in Frontier Town (Tag Thyr)

Posted by Civilian Thyr Th’arialat (Resident) in Frontier Town (Tag Thyr)

Posted by Civilian Jezem (Upstanding Citizen) in Frontier Town (Tag Thyr)
Posted by… suppressed (10) by the Post Ghost! 👻
<snip>
Jezem hummed, “I’ve thought of the perfect job for you. I know a woman who needs someone to catalog her weapons collection and research their estimated sales price on the local market. She’s rich so she’ll pay well and it’ll just be use an a warehouse worth of pointy-zappy things.”

Jezem

“Cataloguing weapons?” Shivan asked, perking up. It sounded like his old job, except.... Legal. Hopefully this person didn’t own anything illegal. “Who is she? Think she’d hire me? Or who she thinks I am?” He said the last part more quietly.

~ Thyr

“Not at all,” Jezem deadpanned, “Because she doesn’t exist and neither does the job. Your standards are way too high for someone desperate for work.” Jezem was careful to remain out of arm’s reach, “Honestly, do you really expect the perfect job to fall into your lap? You have nothing to your name, no connections and no work history. You need to be willing to work the dumb jobs until you can either find work you do enjoy or find people that can connect you to the work you want.”

Shivan glared at Jezem and shook his head. “Don’t waste my time!” He growled, and then he tried to calm himself. He couldn’t afford to make a scene by getting into a brawl with the one person trying to help him. “I just want to work something that won’t get me in trouble.”

Argam had offered to find work for Shivan but Jezem told his dear husband to stay out of this. Partially because Shivan needed to clean up his own mess and secondly, the less Argam got involved the better off he’ll be if things do go sour. If there ever came a moment where Jezem had to choose between his husband and Shivan. . . Jezem cleared his head of those thoughts. Not that it was even a choice to begin with. “Honestly, you really have no shame do you? A beggar turning his nose up at every offering because it’s not ‘good enough’.”

Jezem

Shivan sighed a long, irate sigh. “Aren’t I supposed to be keeping my head down?! If I get angry at a customer do you think that’s going to help me keep out of the Federation’s line of sight? I’ve tried having a lame, boring, stupid, demeaning honest job before and guess what? It didn’t go well! I want to get myself out of this, but wouldn’t you say I should be realistic about what I can handle without getting myself in trouble?”

~ Thyr

Once a hothead always a hothead. Though, Shivan’s temper had improved over the years in-between now and when they worked together. “Okay, then tell me what kind of job you do want. Or at least what job you wouldn’t mind doing.” They’re going in circles at this point. Not that I have anything else to do, Jezem thought. Married life was stupidly easy and Jezem was always searching for new ways to fill his time.

Jezem

Shivan tensed, watching someone near them, but a moment later the person turned towards them and he relaxed. Whoever he thought it might be, it wasn’t them. “Anything where I don’t have to deal with idiot customers or snot nosed brats.” He replied with a shrug. “I don’t know. I’ve never really worked honestly.”

~ Solal

“Oh, is that all?” Jezem huffed. Shivan will not make this easy, will he? “It’s not that different from from any other work you’ve done, it’s just within the scope of whatever laws. And really what’s illegal somewhere is likely legal somewhere else. So by someone’s metric you have worked honestly.” They really should stop messing around and take this seriously. As fun as it was to tease Shivan and get a rise out of him they weren’t making any progress. “Most of your expertise lies in weapons, which should open up several lines of work for you. You could work security for a private company. Like the night shift when no one is around and you’ll be tucked away in a security office.”

“I could do that.” He’d be bored out of his mind but it was something. “But where do I go to find a job like that?” Then he glared at Jezem, “And seriously this time!”

He watched some snot nosed brats chase each other a little ways away while two moms gossiped on a bench. Not paying attention to their kids. Maybe his gaggle of rich socialite women need a night guard or something. “There are plenty of ferengi in the area and they aren’t too picky so long as you’re worth the money they’re paying you.”

Jezem

Shivan had a really embarrassing question next: “How do I get a job like that? Am I supposed to, like, apply or something?” He watched the same snot nosed brats Jezem was looking at. What disgusting little creatures. Shivan hated children. It made him glad it was so difficult for Andorians to conceive. Out of all his problems, one of those things would never be one of them.

~ Thyr

Ugh. Now one child is rubbing its grubby little hands in the dirt. Gods, he’s glad he’ll never have kids. “Yes? I’ll hunt around and see who’s hiring and I’ll get your foot in the door but it’ll be up to you to make a good impression. Didn’t you apply to get into Starfleet and was accepted? It will be like that but easier because most people don’t have the stick up their ass that Starfleet does.”

Jezem

Shivan made an annoyed, growly sort of sound. He hated being reminded of his time in Starfleet. “Yes. I did. It wasn’t that hard, either, just had to tell them what they wanted to hear.” Then he slammed a fist down, “I’m lucky they didn’t charge me with assault! Those…” There was a string of curses next that the inattentive mothers would be glad their little brats were too far away to hear. He made a face when one of them started smearing its hands in the dirt. Ugh! He tried to calm himself down to little avail. “Fine.” He sneered through gritted teeth.

~ Thyr

Jezem twisted around to properly face Shivan, “Listen closely, Thyr.” Jezem’s cool gaze morphed into an icy glare, “You need to get your temper under control. That dumb thing with Starfleet? That was the past. It’s happened. It’s done. You need an outlet for your anger else it doesn’t matter what job you get. I don’t care if you make clay pots then smash them or what ever you do to keep your anger in check. Find something.” Gods, he’s doing enough for this man already.

Jezem

Jezem was giving him that old Captain’s look of his. It used to mean ‘Shut up and DO what I say or else’. And he did miss that. But in Shivan’s angry state it made him want to punch Jezem. Really bad. Shivan had never had the self control to manage not to do it either. He couldn’t do that, the little tiny piece of logic left in his dumb, angry brain said. If Jezem didn’t help him, he’d probably die on the streets of this stupid, stupid frontier world.

In the end, after staring at Jezem for several moments with an intense gaze, he punched the bench instead. So hard he made his knuckles bleed and cracked the wood. “It wasn’t fair! That little rat ruined my life!” He was fighting to keep his voice down, so he didn’t attract attention. “Nothing works as an outlet!” Starfleet’s counselors had told him he needed an outlet, and he’d never found one. Look how that turned out. He was sick of hearing it.

~ Thyr

Jezem followed the motion. Watched as the andorian’s fist connected with the wood and began to ooze blood. That sadistic part of him that reveled in the pain of others sparked to life. He suffered, so everyone else should suffer too. And that little flame threatened to ignite the intense and violent rage smothered deep within himself. Rage that anyone thought their struggles could ever compare to his own. Thinking back, perhaps Jezem and Shivan should have never worked together. The emotions that controlled them came together as a double-edged sword. The threat of violence and blood ever hanging over them.

He knew what Shivan needed. “I’m tired. Let’s go back to the house.” He said with a touch of petulance.

Jezem

Shivan nodded. “Let’s go back then.” His voice was still tight with barely controlled anger. Something Jezem would be familiar with. His anger burned deep, a casualty of Andorian emotion, but something more than that too. Yet he never ever compared his life to Jezem’s. Once, long ago, was enough. Never again. He stood to head back to the house with Jezem, fists still clenched.

~ Thyr

The walk home was in stark contrast to their lazy jaunt through the city. No teasing or jokes, or gossipy ramblings about one buisness or another. There was just. . . silence. Once back at the house, Jezem moved to the shrine tucked against the wall. Oh Hihnaas, goddess of rage. . . Bless me with your touch. Slowly, Jezem turned around and took one, then two steps towards Shivan, “You’re wrong. . . It was your own fault you were kicked out of Starfleet. You have no one to blame but yourself.”

Jezem

Shivan dwelled in his rage the walk back. The silence did not seem to bother him. Instead, it allowed his rage to build. They reached the house and Jezem seemed to linger by that dinky little shrine of his. Shivan had spent enough time around Orions to know what it was, or at least vaguely what it was.

Jezem’s words caused Shivan to boil over and he swung a fist at the Orion. The movement hurt his injury. His rage allowed him to ignore it. There wasn’t as much strength behind the hit as there once would have been. Between the hard times that had fallen on Shivan and his injury he lacked his usual strength. “It wasn’t my fault! It was an accident!” He was still trying not to shout, but his voice was raised now.

~ Thyr

A wide swing. Easy to dodge. Jezem side-stepped the attack and shifted his balance onto the balls of his feet. Posture slightly forward, eyes sharp and wary for the slightest movements, his movements more akin to a dancer’s than a trained fighter. “It was an ‘accident’ that you lost your cool and fought with another cadet?” He sneered.

Jezem

Shivan remembered the way Jezem moved. You couldn’t fight him the way you fought another fighter. The next swing was a quick thrust, trying to catch him before he moved. His other arm lingered near his injury protectively, ready to block. “The fight wasn’t why I was kick out!” No, it had been the accidental discharge of a weapon… into the foot of the cadet he’d gotten into a fight with.

~ Thyr

There. The shift as Shivan adjusted his attack to match Jezem’s fighting style. Which meant Shivan wasn’t angry enough. The other’s fist glanced across Jezem’s shoulder, forcing the orion back to regain his balance. They’ve fought as often as they shared meals aboard their old ship. Jezem knew he needed to keep his distance. Shivan had power and reach, but Jezem was more agile and possessed an intensity that allowed him to ignore pain. “Ah, that’s right. You were kicked out because you mishandled a weapon and shot him. Just how stupid do you have to be to do that?”

Jezem

Shivan was usually stronger and faster than he was now. Jezem had always been far more agile, but if Shivan could land a solid hit, he could do damage with it. “I didn’t mishandle it! It went off! When did I even tell you that?!” Shivan never ever spoke about it. He hated talking about it. His biggest failure. He rushed Jezem recklessly, trying to close the distance between them, hitting in quick motions with one fist and then the other.

~ Thyr

“You think there were secrets on that ship?” Jezem mocked. There’s that rage. Shivan came at him and he had to put all his focus into dodging. A careful dance of balance and ensuring he did not accidentally back himself against the wall or one of the larger pieces of furniture. The loss of the large dining table that used to sit adjacent to the kitchen and had yet to be replaced helped create the space he needed. “I was your captain and a Syndicate trained spy, I didn’t need you to tell me anything. You’re just a reckless fool. An idiot blundering his way into one disaster after another. You are hopeless. A complete failure!”

Jezem

“What you were doesn’t matter, you’re a regular old nobody now! A law abiding normie, with nothing better to do than laugh at people gawking at how ridiculous you are!” Shivan advanced on Jezem, keeping the distance closer, fists swinging again. He was already beginning to breath harder. All the movement was making his injury hurt, a lot. He was doing his best to ignore it, but it was beginning to slow him down. “I blundered you out of plenty of disasters back then! You’d be dead if it weren’t for me!”

~ Thyr

Jezem snarled, his own tenuous control upon his emotions beginning to unravel. Who was Shivan to judge his life? He was the one who got permission to leave the Syndicate. He didn’t spend what little he had left on a false identity to go into hiding. Jezem took a steadying breath and kept dodging the firsts thrown his way. Then he saw his moment. Jezem sprung forward, tackling into Shivan’s chest so his shoulder jabbed into the andorian’s injured side. “I’m dead if I’m caught helping you!” He clawed against Shivan’s sides with his nails, just barely remembering that he’s not supposed to be trying to actually harm Shivan.

Shivan would tell him (again) that his methods hadn’t been his choice, his circumstances had forced him to do what he did. Jezem’s shoulder slammed into his injured side near his injury with Jezem’s weight behind it and he howled in pain, stumbling. Jezem’s nails drew some blood as Shivan fell back into a sitting position on the floor, gripping his injured side and groaning as intense pain shot through his chest. He quieted himself but his pained expression remained.

Jezem stayed close, ready to pin Shivan down should the other find the strength to actually stand. But pulled back enough to keep his weight off the other least he actually seriously injure the other.

Trying to stand proved a mistake. The injury was too irritated. His anger seemed to evaporate into pain as he sat on the floor hunched forward, hands gripping his sides. “I… I know. They’re going to find me and kill me eventually and when they do I’m going to lie my ass off about your involvement.” Shivan was a good liar and if anything could be said it was that he wouldn’t divulge secrets of those he was loyal to, not for anything.

~ Thyr

“Gods curse you,” Jezem said, but his words lacked genuine emotion. The andorian was supposed to be angry at him, not doing. . . well. . . that. Trying to defend him even after everything Jezem said. Once it was apparent Shivan wasn’t about to get up and that he’d finally vented all that rage, Jezem plopped himself down beside the andorian, “Shut up. The Syndicate isn’t going to kill you, not while I’m here.”

“I think they’ve already done that,” Shivan replied jokingly to Jezem’s first comment, voice strained with pain. It was clear he didn’t believe Jezem could pull the miracle that Shivan believed was necessary to save him from the Syndicate.

He was quiet for a moment as he gathered his thoughts. Their relationship from the very start was marked by violence and aggression. Every day brought a new conflict, new injuries yet there was no lasting animosity between them. They’d fight, patch up their injuries and move on. The violence they exchanged worked because waiting for them at the end was catharsis. And now, Jezem stood before a boundary never before crossed in their relationship. An honest talk about their feelings.

“You really wanted to be a Starfleet officer, didn’t you?”

Jezem

Shivan looked over at Jezem, leaning back a little as his pain began to subside. Hesitantly, and biting back a sarcastic remark, he nodded. “Getting into the Academy isn’t an easy feat. You don’t do it for shoots and giggles. I was two years into the Security course.”

~ Thyr

Jezem hummed, “How’d you even get into a fight with that cadet anyways?” Shivan was a hothead but he wasn’t stupid. He didn’t get angry over nothing or without some kind of reason.

Jezem

“He wouldn’t shut up! Kept making fun of me.” Shivan replied, voice rising again. “What does it matter? Why are you asking this now? It doesn’t have to do with anything.”

~ Thyr

“Are you joking right now?” Jezem scowled, “You are obsessed. If getting kicked out of Starfleet didn’t matter to you then you wouldn’t still be angry about it.” Jezem watched Shivan carefully, in case the other decides he wasn’t actually done fighting yet. “Why can’t you let it go and move on? The past is in the past and you are here in the now.”

Jezem

“Of course it matters to me! How could it not?” Shivan asked. He was angry again but he made no move to fight or hit Jezem. He was still hurting from their last scuffle. “Everything I wanted in life was taken away from me. I wasn’t good at anything honest, that’s why I fell in with the Syndicate in the first place. If I could’ve just kept my temper under control… But I couldn’t. Never could do that. Never.”

~ Thyr

“Bullcrap,” Jezem stated bluntly, “If you weren’t capable of being honest you wouldn’t have gotten into Starfleet. And you can control your temper. I’m frankly disgusted that you let yourself believe you can’t. I know I call you an idiot but I didn’t actually think you were one until you started spewing that crap.”

Jezem

“I tried customer service, back on Andoria, after the Starfleet weapon thing. Hit a customer when he called me a name because the store didn’t have something. Tried food service, dumped someone’s meal on the floor because they made a rather… disgusting comment towards me while I was waiting on them. Delivery? Got frustrated with the time constraints and crashed the delivery vehicle. Went hungry, stole food. Got picked up on charges, then no one would hire me.” He looked at Jezem and shrugged, “You know what I was like on Pavlajia, and that it got me in trouble more than once. Did I ever manage to not do it?” They both knew that answer was no. “I don’t know how and don’t say get a hobby because that didn’t work when I was in school.”

~ Thyr

“So what you’re saying is you tried once, got mad, screwed up then moved on to the next thing? Sound like you’re making a bunch of excuses. Tell me Thyr- every time you got mad and things went poorly did you feel relieved? That every time you failed a job and were let go you could tell yourself it wasn’t your fault? Is it that you get so angry you can’t do anything or is it that you are terrified of wanting something so badly and losing it all over again? So much so that you never tried, never let yourself get attached and used your aggression to protect yourself?”

Jezem

Shivan gave Jezem a look of confusion. “Used aggression to protect myself..?” He thought about it a moment and shrugged, “Maybe I used to tell myself it wasn’t my fault. That if he hadn’t made fun of me it wouldn’t have happened. Or if that person hadn’t called me that name, I wouldn’t have hit him. I’m not that delusional anymore.” It had taken there being no one else left to blame for him to get there. “What would I want…? There was nothing else important to me. Pavlajia was important to me, but that’s gone anyway.” What would he be afraid of losing? He didn’t understand.

~ Thyr

Just how dense can one person be. Jezem bit back a groan and leaned back. Time to rethink his strategy. “You don’t know how hard it is to not call you hopeless. Ugh, okay. Why do you care so much when people call your names?” That should be a simple place to start with. He really wasn’t qualified for any kind of emotional talks but at least he was trying. That counted, right?

Jezem

Shivan chuckled and shrugged. “Why do you think I became a criminal? People don’t care who you are or what you do in that world. As long as you pay your dues.” He considered Jezem’s question. “It’s rude. Disrespectful. No one has the right to call me those things.”

~ Thyr

“But they will. People will always call you something either to your face or behind your back. By reacting you give them and their words power. By getting mad you are telling them that they’re right about you.” Jezem leaned forward, “Is it really worth your time to go into a rage every time someone calls you a name? Because people are monsters. They’ll abuse those names if they know they get under your skin.”

Jezem

“If I had control over that, that would be nice, wouldn’t it?!” Snapped Shivan. “You’re right, people are monsters. That’s why I hate them all. Except you.” He leaned back against the wall with a soft, pained sigh. “Did you have to tackle me?”

~ Thyr

“That’s the point of this, idiot.” Jezem returned, just as vicious. Banging his head against the wall was more productive than this conversation. Because then at least he’d have a headache and a sore forehead. This? Did they make any progress what so ever? Jezem sighed. “Jee. . . thanks.” Though, if anyone looked they’d see a small smile on his face. “I got caught up in the moment and forgot I wasn’t actually trying to fight you.” He eyed the scabbed over scratches on Shivan’s sides, “Old habits. Sorry?”

Jezem

“The point of this… is control?” Shivan seemed confused. He shrugged to Jezem’s apology. “It’s fine. You weren’t trying?” And then he thought a moment and nodded. “No, of course you weren’t. You only hit me once.” He rubbed the scabs and then placed a hand over the still healing injuries on his lower chest. “I’m fine. Shouldn’t have been trying to fight you anyway.”

~ Thyr


Posts on Oed V

In topic

Posted since


© 1991-2024 STF. Terms of Service

Version 1.15.9