The Quill & Parchment- Second Chances

Posted Sept. 29, 2023, 8:57 a.m. by Civilian Rafael Torres (Resident) (Lindsay B)

Posted by Civilian Karilan Massat (Owner, Quill and Parchment Books) in The Quill & Parchment- Second Chances

Posted by Civilian Rafael Torres (Resident) in The Quill & Parchment- Second Chances

Posted by Civilian Karilan Massat (Owner, Quill and Parchment Books) in The Quill & Parchment- Second Chances
Posted by… suppressed (2) by the Post Ghost! 👻


Karilan smirked back and said “Well we will simply have to change that. Reading is a wonderful thing… and a very effective means of distracting oneself when things get… tenuous… in real life.” She took a bite and then waved her fork slightly at him. “So tell me… what do you enjoy? What things bring you joy?”


Torres blinked at Karilan and frowned. “I, umm… I don’t know. Engineering stuff, I guess. I like getting lost in it. Other than that, I don’t really know. I guess joy is not a word I would use in my life.” It wasn’t some sob story, he truly couldn’t think of anything. Or maybe he didn’t really know what joy was supposed to feel like and what he did know was only an approximation. It was a toss up.

~Rafael Torres

Karilan stopped eating and fixed him with a wholly judgmental stare. “Mr. Torres… I will simply not allow you to wallow in regrets, grief for what could have been, and shame. You made mistakes. Fine. You paid your dues and worked to rectify them. Yes, you are living a life that is not as pleasant as some… but that doesn’t mean you get to waste the majority of it focusing on the past and what you should have done instead of what you did.” She picked up her drink, took a large swallow, and set the glass down. “No matter what you have done… no matter what actions you have taken in the past or how many you may have hurt… you are still allowed to be happy. Do you understand me, Mr. Torres? I mean do you truly grasp what I am telling you?”

Karilan Massat, Owner, Quill and Parchment

The deep disappointment in his father’s eyes flashed in his mind and Raf had to force himself to take a breath. He’d give anything to change that look and that was part of why he chose to come to Oed. Dash was here and he trusted the man, but also he was trying to be someone his dad could be proud of. And someone he himself could be proud of. “No,” he said honestly. “But if I did, I think I would have figured some stuff out a long time ago. Happiness is a fickle thing. It’s hard to trust it. That being said, I want to be happy. I really do,” he said softly.

~Rafael Torres

Karilan sat back and said “Then take the first step, Mr. Torres. Allow yourself joy. You are eating a great meal in a nice restaurant. You have a job, a place to lay your head, and a project that is going to test your technical abilities to their limits. Personally, it seems like you have a lot to be happy about.” She picked up her fork and began eating.

Karilan Massat

Raf dug into his meal and considered Karilan’s words. It was all true, he should be elated, but maybe that was the problem. He ate a couple bites and took another sip of his agua fresca before gazing at Karilan intently. “I think the challenge for me is to decipher the difference between the kind of joy you’re talking about and the superficial and temporary elation my body remembers when I was high. I don’t know that they feel all that different, so it’s hard to trust that feeling. It feels dangerous. I guess it’s just going to take some time. Maybe after I’ve been here a little while and it doesn’t feel like the world is going to drop out from underneath me, I can relax and enjoy stuff. But I think if I trust to rush this process, I’ll set myself up for failure.”

~Rafael Torres

Posts on Oed V

In topic

Posted since

© 1991-2023 STF. Terms of Service

Version 1.13.6