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The Quill & Parchment- Second Chances

Posted Sept. 29, 2023, 9:14 a.m. by Civilian Rafael Torres (Resident) (Lindsay B)

Posted by Civilian Karilan Massat (Owner, Quill and Parchment Books) in The Quill & Parchment- Second Chances

Posted by Civilian Rafael Torres (Resident) in The Quill & Parchment- Second Chances

(snip)

Raf dug into his meal and considered Karilan’s words. It was all true, he should be elated, but maybe that was the problem. He ate a couple bites and took another sip of his agua fresca before gazing at Karilan intently. “I think the challenge for me is to decipher the difference between the kind of joy you’re talking about and the superficial and temporary elation my body remembers when I was high. I don’t know that they feel all that different, so it’s hard to trust that feeling. It feels dangerous. I guess it’s just going to take some time. Maybe after I’ve been here a little while and it doesn’t feel like the world is going to drop out from underneath me, I can relax and enjoy stuff. But I think if I trust to rush this process, I’ll set myself up for failure.”

~Rafael Torres

Karilan paused and set her fork down. She interlaced her fingers and set her hands on the table. “You are wrong because of one very important factor. The joy of being high is fleeting. And the more you use, the shorter the feeling lasts. You know this is true. The joy I am referring to lasts… well… as long as you want it to. When you simply accept what is, not what ‘could be’ or ‘should have been’… then your joy at simply being becomes permanent. It doesn’t require fuel like a fire… or drugs for a high. It, like you, simply is. That, Mr. Torres, is when you will be happy. And when you allow yourself that acceptance, the feeat you have of the world falling out from under you will simply fade away. One day, you will just realize that it is no longer there. And on that day, Mr. Torres… you will actually be free.”

Karilan

Every part of him was wary of the sentiment, but he realized that those parts were the ones that didn’t know better, didn’t trust. The thing was, he wanted to trust Karilan. And perhaps that was everything right now. It was a small desire to let something good happen and be true. And hadn’t it already? He looked around the restaurant and then back at Massat, and smiled. “I hope you’re right. In fact, you probably are, and I’ve trusted you this far. I don’t see why I can’t with rest.”

~Rafael Torres


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