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Fin's Quarters - Apologies Given Where Apologies Are Due

Posted March 1, 2021, 3:53 p.m. by Lieutenant Fihnrilkk'Hob"ledn-ardol (Fin) (Chief Intelligence Officer) (D Grisham)

Posted by Commander Jason Reilly (XO) in Fin’s Quarters - Apologies Given Where Apologies Are Due

Posted by Lieutenant Fihnrilkk’Hob”ledn-ardol (Fin) (Chief Intelligence Officer) in Fin’s Quarters - Apologies Given Where Apologies Are Due

Posted by Commander Jason Reilly (XO) in Fin’s Quarters - Apologies Given Where Apologies Are Due
Posted by… suppressed (5) by the Post Ghost! 👻
It had been two days since Jason had let his anger… and if he was being honest with himself (which he wasn’t) his hurt… with Fin spill out and lead to him to smashing a bottle against her wall and her smacking him in the back with a glass of her own. The bruise was still there, and still hurt a bit, but Jason hadn’t gone to Medical. Sitting in his room, he felt he had it coming.

He hit random keys on the piano softly, lost in thought, and then finally made up his mind. DA-DA-DA-DUMMM went the piano as he played an age old dirge refrain on the low notes, and then he closed the key cover and stood up and went into his bedroom.

It was late, really late actually, But he knew Fin tended to be a night owl like he was… at least she used to be. Maybe she’ll be in her office. he thought and asked the computer for her location. =/\= The CIO is in her quarters. =/\= came the response. Dammit. Reilly thought to himself. Well… in for a penny, in for a pound. and he started getting dressed. This was a personal matter, so he left the uniform and went with blue jeans and a loose fitting long-sleeved burgundy shirt. Slipping on some dark brown shoes, he went to the back of the closet and slid open the panel on the back side. Several rows of bottles of various sizes, shapes, and potencies lined the five shelves. Running his eyes over each, they fell on a bottle of dark Orion rum. Reilly nodded and grabbed it and walked out of the room and his quarters.

It took less than two minutes to reach her door. Taking a breath, he pressed the chime.

Reilly

Fin was going through recent communiques to weed out and delete the unnecessary ones, when the door chime sounded. She looked at the digital readout on the computer console. 23:34. That was quite late for someone to be stopping by on a social visit, so she figured it must have something to do with her work. Dressed in a pair of black, capris length leggings and an oversized, grey t-shirt that slid off one shoulder, she padded to the door on bare feet.

When her body activated the sensor and it opened, Jason stood there. One auburn brow raised at the sight of him. Fin said nothing, just let her gaze settle on his. She didn’t move out of his way or invite him in. Still bothered by the fight they’d had a few nights ago, she wasn’t about to encourage another, so she waited to see what he wanted.

—Fin

Jason looked at her and gave her a half-smile. Without stepping inside, he just held out the bottle of Orion rum (the good stuff, of course) and said “Apologies for bothering you so late, Lieutenant. I just wanted to come by and tell you that I’m sorry for the way I acted. It was… unprofessional. And probably more than little uncalled for. So… yeah. I’m sorry… Fin. Truly.”

Jason

She looked from the bottle back to Jason and almost asked if he wouldn’t rather throw it against one of her walls than give it to her, but managed to bite back the acerbic comment. Reaching out, Fin wrapped her hand around the upper neck of the rum, above his, their fingers touched casually. “Thanks.” Was all she said. As she turned back into the living area, she expected him to keep hold of the bottle to snatch it out of her hand, but he let it go so it swung down to her side. Still close enough to the sensor that the doors stayed open, Fin wasn’t sure what would or should happen next.

They were both in civilian clothes, he was visiting her late at night and offering an apology. Deciding she didn’t have to treat him like a first officer, but just as a man, she took a deep breath, “Did you want to come in?”

—Fin

He took a tentative step inside, just inside the door, and said “I don’t want to intrude, Fin. But I am genuinely sorry for what happened. Regardless of what may or may not have happened back then… well, you didn’t deserve that kind of behavior from me. Its done, and regardless of it we still have to live and work in close proximity to each other for the foreseeable future. And I don’t want to make your time here hard, Fin. And I know I have. And that’s not fair to you.”

Damn straight, she thought.

Jason could fake any emotion, and fake it well. He could convince women… and men… that he loved them, if that’s what it took to get the information or access he needed. He could make friends in the snap of fingers, or provoke a violent reaction with a look… regardless of his true feelings.

But here he was sincere. More so than he had been in some time.

Jason

Stepping further into the room, she waived him in. “You aren’t intruding. I was up going over some…never mind. It isn’t important. Just come in and sit down.” She walked to the counter that served as a prep area for meals and set the bottle down. “Would you like some coffee or something?” It was what she’d been drinking at her desk. Alcohol probably wasn’t a good idea at the moment.

—Fin

Jason moved in and let the door slide closed. He looked around a bit as he moved to a chair near the couch and took a seat.

“Coffee would be great, thank you.” and he looked out the window at the planet below. “Really is a nice view.” he said in observation.

Jason

Fin ordered black coffee from the replicator, swung by the desk to snag her own and then joined Jason in the living area. She set his cup on the table near him and sat on the couch, tucking one foot beneath her body. “Yes, I lucked out this time. But views change…” Conversation had never been difficult for the two of them, but Fin found herself struggling to make small talk.

After sitting there in an uncomfortable silence for a minute, she sighed and leaned forward. “Jason, what’s going on?”

—Fin

Jason took a sip of the coffee and shrugged slightly. “Just what I said, Fin. I had a chance to do some self-appraisal about the other day, and I realized how outta line I was.” and he looked directly at her.

“No matter my feelings, that was wholly inappropriate and uncalled for. And I hope you can forgive me.”

Jason

‘no matter my feelings…’ Unbidden, the thought that crossed her mind before sleep the other night, once again raised its hand for inspection. Did he care about her? In a matter of seconds, she reviewed their interactions since she’d come on board the Wolverine, and trying to be impartial, realized there were instances that supported the crazy idea. But there hadn’t been anything emotional between them except for a good time and a working relationship. On the other hand, his reaction to her believed betrayal was way too strong—he’d been in similar situations before but doubt he was carrying such a vehement grudge against those agents.

If there was any truth to the line of thought she was following down the rabbit hole, things were going to get weird. One of the best things about the two of them was the emotional distance, it allowed them to be absolutely truthful with each other. Since they weren’t invested in the other one, they didn’t have to edit thoughts or actions.

With a sigh, Fin looked up at the ceiling and decided to just go for it. “Okay, I accept your apology, even though I’m still confused as to why the whole argument happened. What I can’t get my head around is that I know you’ve been screwed before on assignments. We all have. But your reaction to what you think ‘I’ did goes way above what I’d normally expect. I’ve tried to think of why that would be and I can only come up with one explanation.” Boy, she didn’t want to voice the next part.

“Do you see my alleged abandonment in a worse light than any other time you were taken advantage of?”

Okay, she hadn’t quite said it outright, but it was a start.

—Fin

Jason listened and watched her closely. There was an uncomfortableness in her words that he could only chalk up to his reaction to her in her office. Taking another sip of coffee he just looked at her and, instead of answering her question, asked one of his own.. “So what explanation do you have for my flying off the handle like that?”

Jason

Figured. He was going to make her say it. Alright, she just had to grab the bull by the horns and do it. “Don’t laugh, but the only thing I’ve come up with so far is that you care for me in some way.” Fin braced herself for the laughter.

—Fin

There was a pause of the cup to his lips, and the very slightest flicker of a smile… but not a humorous one. More akin to having been caught with a hand in the cookie jar. “Huh.” was all he said and he sipped his coffee for a few moments.

The laughter never came—but another surprise did.

“Well, I can’t say you are wrong. And while that, whatever ‘that’ is, may be a reason for my outburst… it sure as hell doesn’t justify it.” and he set the coffee to the side and leaned forward and looked at her.

What? What had he just said? Fin began to shake her head slightly. This couldn’t be happening.

“I have been screwed over on other operations, sure. To that extent? Not even remotely. When I managed to extricate myself and finally get back to an Intel hub, people looked like they’d seen a ghost. It was like I hadn’t even been expected to come back. That, coupled with the file, coupled with your reaction… I dunno. It just seemed like you… dismissed what happened. Like it… well… like you don’t care. And that, to me anyway, just reinforced the whole thing. In my head, anyway.” and he shrugged and leaned back.

“But… no matter. It is what it is. You and I have to work together, regardless of past transgressions. And I want to make sure that we can do that without spilling blood or glaring daggers at each other at every turn.”

Jason

Her mouth opened to respond, but which part should she address? Deciding to leave his admission out of it for now, she scooted forward till she was on the edge of the couch. “Jason, I wasn’t dismissing what happened to you. I was dismissing my involvement in it. I’ve always been straight with you—that’s one of the beauties of our relationship. We’ve never had to sugar coat or edit how we say something to each other because its always been ‘business’. I’ve always taken what you’ve said at face value, just like you have with me—until now. But this new information…its so…foreign and so unlikely to me and you were SO angry, that we got stuck there. Neither of us could accept the other one was telling the truth because it just didn’t make sense. It still doesn’t.”

Fin took a deep breath and searched her memory again for anything that might help explain what happened, but there wasn’t anything. When she’d been debriefed, they told her that Jason had been moved from the Sabo investigation to another assignment—deep, deep undercover, so she shouldn’t expect to hear from him. Being with Intel for years, she knew how it worked. Chances were you worked with someone once and never saw them again, so she hadn’t been expecting any kind of contact with him. The fact that the Powers That Be felt the need to mention it, only now struck her as suspicious.

—Fin

Jason nodded slightly and leaned forward and said “Thats probably why it… well… cut as deep as it did. I thought the same thing, and in our line of work finding someone you can be honest with… trust… is a rarity. Even more so with me and the way I operate. So when I thought that had been a trick? Well… maybe it was karma biting me in the ass. Taste of my own medicine or something.” and he looked down and shook his head, and then laughed softly at himself.

Jason

This was the Jason she knew, not the angry man she’d been dealing with for the past few weeks. The fact that he was accepting what she told him, and that he was suspicious of the way Intel handled their parting of ways, gave her hope that they’d be able to work it out.

Getting up, Fin moved over to him and sat on the edge of the table between his parted knees. They faced each other with no animosity, honest and open. “Then you do trust me? Try to keep that in mind as we try to find out what really happened.” She reached out and set a hand on his. “And Jason, I am more than just sorry you spent time in prison. If I’d have known, I’d have done everything I could to get you out.”

—Fin

Jason looked at her for a long time, his eyes looking for… something. Finally, he set a hand lightly on hers and said “I believe that. I do. But…” and he took a quick breath, “… but I have to ask. Why would you have done that?”

Jason

She looked at him with some disbelief. “Because you didn’t deserve to be in prison. Because you were my partner. Because up until a few weeks ago, I thought of you as a friend—at least, the kind of friend you make in our business.” Fin drew back and fixed him with a hard look. “I always thought if I needed your help you’d come and make things happen, but I guess I was wrong about that given all the subterfuge we were subjected to. Good thing I wasn’t put in that position.”

—Fin

Reilly looked at her, and the sincerity of his words was more than clear as he spoke softly, yet clearly.

“Fin, I… I still would have come.”

Jason

Okay, that caught her off guard. Did she want to know what he meant by that? It probably wasn’t a good idea because any admittance of personal feelings would only make their working relationship more difficult. She’d schooled herself for decades not to get too close to any one person, and Jason was no exception. He’d gotten closer than most, but it was a rule of her own making. In their line of work it was too easy to lose agents and she couldn’t allow herself to be crippled with grief if something happened.

He was expecting a response. “So, even though you hated my guts and thought I’d left you for dead, you would have come to help me?”

—Fin

Jason nodded and smiled. “Yeah… wouldn’t have been my brightest moment, but… yeah. I would have.” and he gave her hand a squeeze and leaned back slightly.

“I know you have rules. I know you have boundaries that you don’t cross. At least… not often.” and he winked. “And that’s fine. I’m not going to ask you to. But I’m also not going to keep treating you like the enemy. I dont want you as my enemy, Fin. Okay?”

Jason

His words were meant to give her comfort—and they did. But what had really brought on the change of heart? Was it finally knowing the truth? That she hadn’t abandoned him like he’d been made to believe. Or was it something else? They had been a good team on the Sabo case, despite the things he’d said since her arrival on the ship. They had also been good together in bed. Here was the olive branch she’d wanted from Jason. Decision time—did she accept it or keep him at arms length for the duration of her assignment on the Wolverine?

She cleared her throat before speaking. “Well, I don’t want to be your enemy, Jason, so okay. Let’s let the past be the past.” She felt good about the decision, however, she needed to make something clear.

“But! People in our line of work don’t have many real friends or people they trust. The next time something like this happens, you have to swear you’ll come to me about it and give me a chance to address whatever it is. You’ve been angry with me for a long time for something I never did. I’d hate to see that happen again.”

—Fin


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