The STF Awards: January 2007

Award Director Sarah Hemenway

Revision History
Revision 1 25 Feburary 2007

Added to the Library.

Table of Contents

Best Ship/Base/Planet MOTD
Best Fleet MOTD
Best Department MOTD
Best Engineering Junior Officer
Best Medical Junior Officer
Best Science Junior Officer
Best Security Junior Officer
Entertainment, Part I
Best Swing
Best Counselor
Best Chief Engineer
Entertainment, Part II
Best Chief Medical Officer
Best Chief Science Officer
Best Chief of Security
Best Gamemaster
Best Mission
Best Executive Officer
Entertainment, Part III
Best Commanding Officer
Wackiest Character
Best Romantic Couple
Best Use of NEs
Best Characterization
Most Creative Poster
Most Promising Newcomer
Best Ship Clas
Best Base or Planet
Entertainment, Part IV
Best Ship
Best Fleet
Most Valuable Player
Best STFer
Best STFer Acceptance and Closing Speech

Best Ship/Base/Planet MOTD

This award was presented by Daniel Lerner.

* Singularity42 stands up to the podium and clears his throat

Singularity42: Okay, this is for Best Ship/Base/Planet MOTD

Singularity42: The nominees are:

Singularity42: SS Bonaventure

Singularity42: USS Valkyrie

Singularity42: OED V

Singularity42: USS Polaris

Singularity42: And the winner is....

* Singularity42 struggles with the envelope

Singularity42: sorry, the winner is...

Singularity42: OED V!!

Best Fleet MOTD

This award was presented by Brian Olinski.

* Buzz wakes up at hearing his name

Buzz: OK, next award up is the Award for Best Fleet MOTD.

Buzz: The nominees are: Fleet 4, Fleet 5 and Fleet 6.

Buzz: This one was a close one, the winner and second place MOTDs were separated by only two votes.

Buzz: But I am willing to accept bribes to alter the outcome! ;)

Buzz: And the winner is...

Buzz: The Academy MOTD! Congratulations!

Buzz: Sorry, just kidding. :P The winner for Best Fleet MOTD is...

Buzz: Fleet 5! Congratulations to Fleet 5! Nice job! :-)

Best Department MOTD

This award was presented by Sarah Hemenway.

eagle15: The nominees for Best Department MOTD are:

eagle15: - Academy

eagle15: - Engineering Department

eagle15: - Personnel Department

eagle15: One department kinda walked all over the others, much to my chagrin since I designed a MOTD that was a nominee...

eagle15: Congratulations, Academy!

Best Engineering Junior Officer

This award was presented by Sarah Hemenway.

eagle15: Best Engineering Junior Officer!

eagle15: Matthew Rose

eagle15: Shaughn Gorman

eagle15: William Webb

eagle15: This was a close one!

eagle15: Close enough...

eagle15: That we have a tie!

eagle15: Congratulations to Matt and Shaughn!

Best Medical Junior Officer

This award was presented by Jack Dipper.

* Dipper puts down his glass of wine and jogs up the stairs

Dipper: Right, the next category is the Best Medical JO

Dipper: No surprises here for what this is for

Dipper: The nominations were

Dipper: Hade Debaillie

Dipper: Jason White

Dipper: Levi Fraser

Dipper: Melissa Bradley

Dipper: Jody Romero

Dipper: Phillip Stonness

Dipper: and No Vote

Dipper: oh, hang on

* Dipper crosses out No Vote

Dipper: That's better

Dipper: The winner for the Best Medical JO award is....

* Dipper goes back, takes a sip of his wine, then goes back on stage

Dipper: Jody Romero

Best Science Junior Officer

This award was presented by Hade Debaillie.

* Hade looks at the audience while clearing throat

Hade: OK, I 'm presenting the aword for best science JO

Hade: the nominees were:

Hade: Adam Hendrickson

Hade: Edward Brough

Hade: Lee Parker

Hade: Mark Wood

Hade: Mike Montemayor

Hade: Ian Kirby

Hade: Jesse Babcock

Hade: Jason Lee

Hade: and Lee Parker

Hade: And the winner is ...

* Hade pulls out big envelope

Hade: Jason Lee!

Best Security Junior Officer

This award was presented by Joe Fahey.

* the_real_solitare bounds up to the stage

the_real_solitare: I don't need no stinking introduction

the_real_solitare: Alrighty, I'm presenting the award for best Sec JO

the_real_solitare: this award goes annually to the best Security JO

the_real_solitare: This year, the nominees are:

the_real_solitare: Andrea Frasier

the_real_solitare: Jason White

the_real_solitare: Jim Hosick

the_real_solitare: and No Vote

the_real_solitare: And the winner is...

* the_real_solitare pauses

* the_real_solitare listens to his earpiece

the_real_solitare: Well Folks, I'm sorry

the_real_solitare: it appears that No Vote has tested positive for steroids

the_real_solitare: and thus has been taken out of consideration

the_real_solitare: that means our winner is...

the_real_solitare: Jim Hosick!

the_real_solitare: Congratulations Jim!

Entertainment, Part I

This entertainment was provided by Russell Watt

Taw_Elocin: Hi, I recently wrote a little song about my hubby, Taw Lessur, a science officer on the mighty USS Atlantis ... here it is.

* Taw_Elocin moves over to the microphone

Taw_Elocin: When Lessur was a little boy, he proved so brave and daring,

Taw_Elocin: his father wanted to prentic him to some career space faring

Taw_Elocin: I was alas, in love with him, and so I went whereever

Taw_Elocin: He went throughout space and in time he came to love me, however,

Taw_Elocin: 'Twas a life not made for a lass in love, a child of the prophets

Taw_Elocin: Though I'm a lass, you might do worse then sign him to the Maquis

* Taw_Elocin moves across stage

Taw_Elocin: I was alas focused on study and sadly did not listen,

Taw_Elocin: When he said he'd join the Maquis and return Bajor or die tryin',

Taw_Elocin: Mis hearing his desire, while my PHD was under completion,

Taw_Elocin: The Academy on Earth was the place I sent his application,

Taw_Elocin: A sad mistake it was to make and doom him to the Star Fleet,

Taw_Elocin: I bound him to, a uniform - blue - instead of to the Maquis.

* Taw_Elocin goes across stage again

Taw_Elocin: I soon found out, beyond all doubt, the scope of this disaster,

Taw_Elocin: I was forbidden to, oh yes its true, to set foot on Bajor thereafter,

Taw_Elocin: But a Bajoran lass does not loose sleep, or give in to confusion,

Taw_Elocin: So I made up my mind to marry him and have with him some children,

Taw_Elocin: And that is how you find us now, with the crew on the Atlantis,

Taw_Elocin> But we wouldn't be here, if I did hear and bound Lessur to the Maquis.

* Taw_Elocin bows deeply to all in the room

Best Swing

This award was presented by Robert Gulley.

FltCptGulley: Yay! It is my pleasure to present the award for the Best Swing! (and you're right Jack, it's not that kind of swing position).

FltCptGulley: The nominees are:

FltCptGulley: Anthony Martin

FltCptGulley: Ben Fox

FltCptGulley: Bret Godfrey

FltCptGulley: David Fergusson

FltCptGulley: Hade Debaillie

FltCptGulley: Phillip Henely

FltCptGulley: Russell Watt

FltCptGulley: and the famous No Vote, who has since been disqualified (apparantly).

FltCptGulley: and the winner is....

FltCptGulley: ... oh, I'm supposed to do something now?

FltCptGulley: Russell Watt

Best Counselor

This award was presented by Cale Reilly.

Cale: Okeydokey ahem.. Its my pleasure to present the award for the best counselor..thats the CNS type person we all fear

Cale: and..the Nominees were. * me raiser her voice alittle*

Cale: Cheryl Butler

Cale: Robert Gulley

Cale: Sarah "Kat" Hemenway

Cale: Rory Paxon

Cale: Stephanie Lowe

* Cale unflods the long rolled list

Cale: and umm..And NoVotee the no vote dog

Cale: and...the winner IS !

Cale: woo look its all silent..

Cale: The winner is : Sarah "Kat" Hemenway !!

Best Chief Engineer

This award was presented by Joe Fahey.

Bill_Gates: Anyways, I'm here to present the grand release of Microsoft Vista

Bill_Gates: err...the Best CE award

Bill_Gates: The nominees are:

Bill_Gates: Adam Hendricksen

Bill_Gates: Brandon Irvine

Bill_Gates: Lee Bridgeford

Bill_Gates: And No Vote

Bill_Gates: Apparently, No Vote is open-source so...

* Bill_Gates shoots No Vote

Bill_Gates: The Winner is...

Bill_Gates: Brandon Irvine!

Bill_Gates: Brandon, please pick up your copy of Windows Vista after the ceremony is over

Entertainment, Part II

This entertainment was provided by Joe Fahey.

the_real_solitare: 20 uses of Data's Detached Head!!

the_real_solitare: 20: Combination paperweight/stapler for Picard's desk

the_real_solitare: 19: The ball in Parisis' Squares

the_real_solitare: 18: Hood ornament for Shuttle craft

the_real_solitare: 17: Replace Troi's broken Chia Pet

the_real_solitare: 16: Scare blind students in Braille class

the_real_solitare: 15: Prop open doors for maintenance crews

the_real_solitare: 14: Lawn decoration in Arboreteum

the_real_solitare: 13: Footstool for Captain's chair

the_real_solitare: 12: Entertaining kids in day care puppet show

the_real_solitare: 11: Scare Alexander into doing chores

the_real_solitare: 10: Send to doctor that killed Crystalline entity as gag gift

the_real_solitare: 9: Decorative air filter in picard's fish tank

the_real_solitare: 8: Send to Starfleet Android research center so they can get "ahead" in research

the_real_solitare: 7: Trade to Ferengi for Star Trek Hologram cards

the_real_solitare: 6: Two words: tether ball

the_real_solitare: 5: Keep Worf's coffee table from shaking

the_real_solitare: 4: Centerpiece in Ten Forward buffet

the_real_solitare: 3: Donate to Starfleet Academy to be head of the class

the_real_solitare: 2: Use as nutcracker at Christmas time

the_real_solitare: And finally, the number one use of Data's detached head....

the_real_solitare: 1: Prove to insurance company he died so crew can collect on his life insurance policy

the_real_solitare: thank you, thank you

Best Chief Medical Officer

This award was presented by Anthony Martin.

* Anthony stands

* Anthony finishes fifth glass of wine

Anthony: Okay, I'm sorry, guys

Anthony: The Nominees for BEST CHIEF MEDICAL OFFICER are:

Anthony: Cale Reilly

Anthony: Brandon Irvine

Anthony: Sarah Hemenway

Anthony: An update has been done to the winner's announcement, as No Vote, who was disqualified on account of a positive steroid test, had been slated to take the award

Anthony: One moment...

* Anthony runs backstage

* Anthony comes back with new envelope

Anthony: The winner of the... January 2007... STF Award for Best Chief Medical Officer is...

* Anthony goes and plays drum roll himself

* Anthony runs back on stage

Anthony: Cale Reilly!!

* Cale blinks and climbs the stairs to take the awards

* Anthony hands Cale awards and steps away

* Anthony takes back apparently all the other awards he just gave Cale

Cale: well..i'd just like to thank all of my fans who come into sickbay dieing and such..and the ones who died under certain circumstances..

* Cale stops and looks off stage.

Cale: Umm yeah my lawyers say i cant speak about Thanks Guys ^^

Best Chief Science Officer

This award was presented by Hade Debaillie

* Saranoya walks onto stage

Saranoya: Well, hi guys, here I am again

Saranoya: this time, presenting the award for best CSO

Saranoya: they 're the ones you go to when some strange entity takes over your ship

Saranoya: so ... the nominees were ...

Saranoya: Daniel Lerner

Saranoya: Alexandra Bowley

Saranoya: Katherine Dedul

Saranoya: and No Vote

Saranoya: I regret to inform you, ladies and gentlemen, that No Vote strikes again

Saranoya: but, the recent allegations against him in mind ... the award goes to ...

* Saranoya gets a coughing fit

Saranoya: sorry guys

Saranoya: anyway

Saranoya: the Award goes to ...


Singularity42: This is very unexpected - I never really prepared for this

* Singularity42 takes out a long list of prepared talking points

Singularity42: First of all, I would like to thank the sensor platforms - without which I would not be here today

Singularity42: Second, I would like to thank my agent - without his help, I would not be here today

Singularity42: Third, I must thank my accountant - I would not be here today without her help

Singularity42: Fourth -

* Saranoya hands the award to Daniel ... thank you, that was a wonderful speech

* Singularity42 is dragged off stage as the music starts

Best Chief of Security

This award was presented by Sarah Hemenway.

eagle15: Well, since I'm the awards coordinator, I got to choose which awards I wanted to present. Of course, I chose Best COS, since I'm a career COS. :)

eagle15: So, the nominees for BEST CHIEF OF SECURITY are...

eagle15: Anthony Martin

eagle15: Ben Fox

eagle15: Robert Spicer.

eagle15: And No Vote, but as previously discussed, he was eliminated for steroid usage.

eagle15: The winner is...

eagle15: BY ONE VOTE

eagle15: Anthony Martin!

eagle15: (Over Bob Spicer, for the ridiculously curious)

* Anthony goes on stage for award

* eagle15 hugs him and gives him his award.

Anthony: ooh, a hug AND an award!

Best Gamemaster

This award was presented by Russell Watt.

* Frederick_Morris walks nervously to the microphone in the middle of the stage and looks as though he is about to cry or something when he looks out at everyone.

Frederick_Morris: I am Frederick Morris, CSO on the USS Rogue and I was asked to present the award for best GM

Frederick_Morris: I am terrified to be here this evening, and I was told that I needed to imagine all of you in the nude to overcome my nerves

Frederick_Morris: But that is fear number 9 on my list of phobias, so that would have made it worse.

Frederick_Morris: So, I am just going to close my eyes and do it.

Frederick_Morris: The nominations for best GM in STF are

Frederick_Morris: Geoff Joosten

Frederick_Morris: Symon Silvester

Frederick_Morris: Stuart Coll

Frederick_Morris: and the STF award goes too

* Frederick_Morris cues the drumroll nervously

Frederick_Morris: Sy 'bunny' Silvester

Best Mission

This award was presented by Anthony Martin.

* Anthony goes up on stage to present again

Anthony: Hey again! You might remember me from presenting such awards as Best CMO

Anthony: Anyway, the next award up for... awarding... is that for Best Mission

Anthony: This award is, for those that don't know *g*, for the best mission by a GM, because the Best GM never makes the best Mission

Anthony: Thus the need for two awards.

Anthony: The nominees are:

Anthony: Bret Godfrey; "Under a Forlorn Sky" on the SS Bonaventure;

Anthony: Stuart Coll; "Paradise Lost" on the USS Genesis

Anthony: and Amanda Noon; "Field Trip" on the USS Alliance

Anthony: No Vote loses yet another award for steroid use.

Anthony: And the winner of the STF Award for Best Mission by a GM, as opposed to those missions done by Chief Tactical Officers, goes to:

* Anthony cues drum roll

Anthony: ...STUART COLL for "Paradise Lost", USS Genesis!

Best Executive Officer

This award was presented by Hade Debaillie.

* Saranoya clears throat

Saranoya: Test, 1, 2

Saranoya: OK, got my voice back

Saranoya: right

Saranoya: next up, is the award for best Captain 's Lackey ... Oh sorry, XO

Saranoya: nominees were

Saranoya: (that was meant to be hostile for the Captains)

Saranoya: Anthony Martin

Saranoya: Symon Silvester

Saranoya: Brady McGuinn

Saranoya: Brian Olinski

Saranoya: Jack Dipper

Saranoya: Jeremy Cobain

Saranoya: John Robert Lucas

Saranoya: Katherine Dedul

Saranoya: Lou Gasco

Saranoya: Sarah Hemenway

Saranoya: Stuart Coll

Saranoya: and ... the ever-present No Vote

Saranoya: looks like this guy picked the worst time ever to get caught on steroids

Saranoya: anyway

Saranoya: the winner is ...

* Saranoya cues drum roll

Saranoya: Symon Silvester, aka HugeFakeMustache who is not Sy


Crell: A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar...

Crell: Ooof, Ouch, Oy.

the_real_solitare: the Top 10 Enterprise (TNG) bumper stickers!

the_real_solitare: 10: "Our other starship separates into 3 pieces!"

the_real_solitare: 9: "One photon torpedo can ruin your whole day...think about it"

the_real_solitare: 8: "HONK if you've kissed Commander Riker!"

the_real_solitare: 7: "Guns don't kill people...Class 2 Phasers do!"

the_real_solitare: 6: "Zero to Warp 9.7 in 13 seconds!"

the_real_solitare: 5: "CAUTION...We have a trigger happy Klingon at tactical."

the_real_solitare: 4: "If you can read this...don't you think you're a wee bit too close?"

the_real_solitare: 3: "Have you hugged a Ferengi today?"

the_real_solitare: 2: "We brake for cubes!"

the_real_solitare: And the number 1 bumper sticker (which I don't really find too amusing, but some of you will) is...

the_real_solitare: 1: "Wesley On Board!"

the_real_solitare: Q: How many Klingons does it take to change a lightbulb?

the_real_solitare: A: Two: One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all of the credit

the_real_solitare: alternatively, None: Klingons aren't afraid of the dark

the_real_solitare: Q: What do the Klingons do with the dead bulb?

the_real_solitare: A: Execute it for failure

the_real_solitare: What do the Klingons do with the Klingon who replaces the bulb?

the_real_solitare: Execute it for cowardice!

the_real_solitare: it = him

Entertainment, Part III

This entertainment was presented by Russell Watt.

* Starfleet_Admiral takes up took up position centre stage and started the major general song ... of course ... he changed the words slightly that would be more meaningful for those in the audience from the 24th Century

Starfleet_Admiral: I am the very model of a modern Star Fleet Admiral,

Starfleet_Admiral: I've information scientific, medical and tactical,

Starfleet_Admiral: I know the Federation Presidents, and I quote the fights historical,

Starfleet_Admiral: From the Klingon Civil War to the Dominion War, in order categorical;

Starfleet_Admiral: I'm very well acquainted too with matters political,

Starfleet_Admiral: I understand relations, both the friendly and problematical,

Starfleet_Admiral: About inter-species marriage I'm teeming with a lot o' news-

Starfleet_Admiral: With many cheerful facts about things that others confuse.

Starfleet_Admiral: I'm very good at double speak and causing problems for ships and crews,

Starfleet_Admiral: I know many secrets about our fleets that our enemies would abuse;

Starfleet_Admiral: In short, in matters scientific, medical, and tactical,

Starfleet_Admiral: I am the very model of a modern Star Fleet Admiral.

Starfleet_Admiral: I know Star Fleet history, of Captain Kirk, and Archer too,

Starfleet_Admiral: When dealing with the here and now, I really don't have a clue,

Starfleet_Admiral: I quote the Rules of Acquisition and afterwards,

Starfleet_Admiral: I sing klingon opera and read Shakespeare backwards.

Starfleet_Admiral: I can tell Vulcan sculptures from those of Andoria,

Starfleet_Admiral: Then pretend to be a Borg amidst mounting hysteria,

Starfleet_Admiral: Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore,

Starfleet_Admiral: And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.

Starfleet_Admiral: Then I can write a washing bill in Bajoran cuniform,

Starfleet_Admiral: And tell you every detail of the Durass sisters' uniform;

Starfleet_Admiral: In short, in matters scientific, medical and tactical,

Starfleet_Admiral: I am the very model of a modern Star Fleet Admiral.

* Starfleet_Admiral pauses thinking about the Durass Sister's uniform

Starfleet_Admiral: In fact, when I know what is meant by shuttlecraft and runabout,

Starfleet_Admiral: When I can tell at sight a phaser pistol from a tricorder,

Starfleet_Admiral: When such affairs as treaties and agreements I'm more wary at,

Starfleet_Admiral: And when I know precisely what is meant by "Academy Commandant",

Starfleet_Admiral: When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery,

Starfleet_Admiral: When I know more of intrigue than a Cardassian at the age of three:

Starfleet_Admiral: In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy,

Starfleet_Admiral: You'll say a better Star Fleet Admiral has never been to the Academy---

* Starfleet_Admiral nods at Brian

Starfleet_Admiral: For my Star Fleet knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury,

Starfleet_Admiral: Has only been brought down to the middle of the 24th century;

Starfleet_Admiral: But still in matters scientific, medical and tactical,

Starfleet_Admiral: I am the very model of a modern Star Fleet Admiral.

* Starfleet_Admiral bows to the audience

* Starfleet_Admiral waves and beams back to my ship

Best Commanding Officer

This award was presented by Anthony Martin.

* Anthony steps on stage, again.

* Anthony puts Captain's pips on pajamas

Anthony: Okay, the best for last, at least out of my awards

Anthony: Anyway, I'm here to present the STF Award for Best Commanding Officer

Anthony: The nominees:

Anthony: Jen "Sloth" Herr;

Anthony: Brian "Bear" Olinski;

Anthony: Sarah "Kat" Hemenway;

Anthony: and No "'Roids Rat" Vote

Anthony: who, by the way, lost his nineteenth award for Steroids

Anthony: Without too much further ado...

Anthony: The winner of the STF Award for Best Commanding Officer is...

* Anthony opens envelope

* Crell steals the envelope.

* Anthony pulls out real envelope, laughing at Larry for having the decoy

* Anthony reads card

Anthony: *mutters* I wonder if she purposely had us exchanging awards - Sarah "Kat" Hemenway!

Anthony: Now come up here so I can return that hug!

* eagle15 blushes and goes up.

* Anthony stands and waits while Sarah gets up

* Anthony hugs her and hands her the award

* eagle15 hugs back and kicks Anthony off the stage.

Wackiest Character

This award was presented by Sarah Hemenway.

eagle15: The nominees for WACKIEST CHARACTER are...

eagle15: Bret Godfrey as "Maxwell Flagg"

eagle15: Emma Rouse-Deane as "Pinky"

eagle15: James Garfield as "Gollum"

eagle15: Jason White as "Ahl-Ahn-Vahkana"

eagle15: Larry Garfield as "Monty the Python"

eagle15: Robert Spicer as "Samuel P. Cobb" (Go Oed!)

eagle15: Russell Watt as "Fredrick Morris"

eagle15: Russell Watt as "Mrs. Perriwinkle" (Go Oed!)

eagle15: Symon Silvester as "Milander"

eagle15: Symon Silvester as "Octavius"

eagle15: This was another close one, with all of the nominees receiving a good portion of the vote.

eagle15: Unfortunately, no one received enough votes to unseat our reigning champion...

eagle15: Congratulations, Monty. :)

* MontyThePython slithers up on stage.

* MontyThePython eats the award, then wraps himself around Sarah.

MontyThePython: Thanksssss, everyone.

* eagle15 screams.

* MontyThePython slithers back off stage, dragging Sarah with him.

Best Romantic Couple

This award was presented by Russell Watt.

* Mrs_P waves at all the men in the audience.

* Mrs_P has her hair up in a very tall bun.

* Mrs_P clears her throat as she reaches the microphone.

Mrs_P: I am Mrs. Adrienna Perriwinkle and I have come here this evening to present the award for most romantic couple. I have been living on OED V for a few months now and am the resident social commentator for that colony.

Mrs_P: The nominations are ...

Mrs_P: D Grisham as Sage Brennan and Brian Olinski as Toryn Jorel

Mrs_P: Aries Phommavah as Aries Phommavah and Steven Schneckenberger as Seth Jaya

Mrs_P: Janelle Kimber as Avrik Randal and David Fergusson as M'Bok

Mrs_P: Joe Fahey as Brad Johnson and Kristina Dumas as Kea Dumis

Mrs_P: Larry Garfield as Elliot Carver and Amanda Noon as Jane Burke

Mrs_P: Sarah Hemenway as Allison Ruddock and Symon Silvester as Benjamin Ruddock

Mrs_P: Sarah Hemenway as Katelyn Jacobs and Symon Silvester as James Henly

Mrs_P: Tara Manini as Tara Taylor and Chris Taylor as Chris Taylor

Mrs_P: Tara Manini as Kat Muller and John Robert Lucas as Heinrich

Mrs_P: And the STF Award goes to ...

* Mrs_P cues drum roll with style and flair

Mrs_P: D Grisham as Sage Brennan and Brian Olinski as Toryn Jorel

Best Use of NEs

This award was presented by Larry Garfield.

AdmiralGarfield: We at Starfleet Command all know that we're the ones really in charge, and that the little people will do what we tell them.

AdmiralGarfield: I speak of course of our noble Nameless Ensigns, who willingly lay their lives on the line every day so that the rest of us can stay safe in our starring cast contracts.

AdmiralGarfield: I therefore offer you the nominttes for best use of an expendable:

AdmiralGarfield: Hade Debaillie

AdmiralGarfield: Emma Rouse-Deane

AdmiralGarfield: Brian Olinski

AdmiralGarfield: And No Vote.

AdmiralGarfield: May I have the envelope please....

eagle15: Jack, go give him the envelope.

* AdmiralGarfield waits impatiently...

* Dipper hands Admiral Garfield the envelope

* eagle15 gives Jack a cookie.

* AdmiralGarfield mixes the envelopes up behind his back.

* Dipper eats the cookie

AdmiralGarfield: And the winner is....

AdmiralGarfield: Hm. How appropriate. No Vote wins for Nameless Ensign.

AdmiralGarfield: But since he's not here to accept, we'll have to disqualify him and give the award to Brian Olinski instead.

Best Characterization

This award was presented by Daniel Lerner.

* Singularity42 heads up to the stage

Singularity42: It's time now for the Best Characterization Award

Singularity42: Some of you are asking "Daniel, what criteria are used to determine the winner of this complicated award?"

Singularity42: To which I reply, "

Singularity42: "Excellent questions"

Singularity42: Now, the nominees:

Singularity42: Andrea Frasier as "Mika Saarela"

Singularity42: Chris Grinder as "Sares Q'Tal"

Singularity42: Ben Fox as "Nu'Daq"

Singularity42: Eric Steinkamp as "K'rrurr"

Singularity42: Jason White as "Vaahl-Kor Raxx"

Singularity42: James Garfield as "Gollum"

Singularity42: Jason Y. Lee as "Javok"

Singularity42: Lee Bridgeford as "J'kthol"

Singularity42: Kenson Koh as "Kenson Koh"

Singularity42: Mike Montemayor as "Galen Pyrus"

Singularity42: Russell Watt as "Tanik"

Singularity42: Robert Thompson as "Robert Thompson"

Singularity42: Symon Silvester as "Milander"

Singularity42: No Vote as "Disqualified"

Singularity42: and the winner is...

Singularity42: Well, we all love to hate him: Vaahl-Kor Raxx

Most Creative Poster

This award was presented by Cale Reilly.

Cale: Okeydokey guys and gals and tribbles of all ages..

Cale: The award for the person who makes the most interesting posts..the one who causes us to split our sides laughing..the one we should send medical bills to..I give you the nominees :

Cale: Gene Gibbs

Cale: Russell 'Tribble' Watt

Cale: William Webb

Cale: And No Vote, who cannot be here today. We have been informed he has recently checked into a clinic to get the help he so rightly needs and we wish him the best of luck with that

* Cale opens the envelop

Cale: And the winner IS !

Cale: the winner is: Russell 'Tribble' Watt!!

* Tribble feints

* Cale blinks

Cale: Uhh could someone revive him p0lease..this award's heavy

Cale: never mind..he's ok ! ^^

* Tribble takes the award from Cale and goes and sits down.

Tribble: that's one small award for tribble, one large trophy for tribble kind

Most Promising Newcomer

This award was presented by Jack Dipper.

* Dipper walks up on to the stage

Dipper: My name is Jack Bauer, and this is the longest award ceremony of my life

Dipper: oops, wrong script

Dipper: Sorry, been watching far too much 24

Dipper: Right, more seriously, before I present this award, I do want to say a couple of things

* Dipper does a Tony Blair impression with far too many hand gestures

Dipper: I'm privileged to hand out this award as I've always enjoyed RPing with the newest and brightest people of STF

Dipper: Which is kind of why I enjoy the Academy (hey, I've only been attached to it for the entire time I've been in STF)

Dipper: The Most Promising Newcomer award is given to the person who has recently joined, yet contributed positively to the club

Dipper: And if the nominations are anything to go by, we haven't gone far wrong

Dipper: So

Dipper: without further ado

* Dipper digs out his email

Dipper: The nominations for Most Promising Newcomer award are

Dipper: Andrew Frasier

Dipper: Gene Givvs

Dipper: Hade Debaillie

Dipper: Gene Gibbs too

Dipper: and Andrea

* Dipper puts away the port

Dipper: ok, lets start over

Dipper: Andrea Frasier

Dipper: Gene Gibbs

Dipper: Hade Debaillie

Dipper: Melissa Bradley

Dipper: and Russell Watt

* Dipper opens the envelope

Dipper: I am very pleased to say that with over 54% of the votes, and 19 votes ahead the person in second place the winner is....

* Dipper lets that sink in

Dipper: Russell Watt!

Best Ship Clas

This award was presented by Cale Reilly.

* Cale climbs up onto the stage with her tartan bunny ears on.

Cale: So anyways *whistles loudly* The NEXT award is, the best ship Class

Cale: which is very important because without a shi pwe'd have no fleet and without a ship class we'd never know what parts to buy when they break down.

Cale: the nominees in this category are ! the Trafalgar class

Cale: the Discovery Class

Cale: the Viking class

Cale: and not the no vote class because no vote's not a class of ship and is currently attending gruoup therapy for his drug addiction which none of my sickbays are resposible for..*shifty look around*

Cale: And...someone a drum roll please...the winner is !

Cale: you know im not going to tell you if your not paying attention

Cale: The winner Is ! The Discovery Class !

Best Base or Planet

This award was presented by Larry Garfield.

Crell: We all know, of course, that Fleet Four's Crell is the best planet. In fact, if it were allowed to be included in the vote then nothing else would even be nominated.

Crell: So, the award for second best best/planet after Crell... the nominees are:

Crell: Scottie Testing Centre

Crell: Starbase 202

Crell: Oed V

Crell: And No Vote.

Crell: No Vote has recently been reclassified as an asteroid rather than a planet, however, so it is disqualified.

Crell: Therefore, the award goes to.....

Crell: Oed V!

* eagle15 drags Sy up on stage.

* eagle15 takes cute photos with award and then lets Sy escape.

CaptBunny: Well, on behalf of my evil empire and my minions, I would like to say thank you. Today this award! Tomorrow, Galatic domination!

Entertainment, Part IV

This entertainment was presented by Larry Garfield.

Crell: In honor of our second best base/planet after Crell, the Starfleet News Network is pleased to present this blast from the past.

Crell: Who would have thought a song from the 90s would be considered an Oldie? :-)

Crell: With thanks to Mark Wilson and due apologies to Elton John....

Crell: "The Circle of Strife"

Crell: From the day we arrived on the planet

Crell: And stumbling, stepped off of the ship

Crell: We were told to build what could ever be built

Crell: Told to do what could never be done

Crell: Some say build or just loiter,

Crell: Some say, "I'll do it later."

Crell: But all come to see, as they look way up high

Crell: They will die for standing idly by.

Crell: We all like Oed V,

Crell: Now called "Arcadia."

Crell: It's a frightful place,

Crell: That's full of strife.

Crell: Till we build shelter

Crell: On the dark, dreary sand,

Crell: It's the col'ny -- it's called Oed V.

Crell: Some of us never built shelter,

Crell: And some of us built it right off.

Crell: Some of us work without com-plaint,

Crell: And some of us are like the sloth.

Crell: There's far too much to be built here,

Crell: More to do than can ever be done,

Crell: But the sand rolling high

Crell: Through the dark'ning sky

Crell: Makes us hol-ler and then turn and run.

Crell: We all like Oed V,

Crell: Now called "Arcadia."

Crell: It's a frightful place,

Crell: That's full of strife.

Crell: Till we build shelter

Crell: On the dark, dreary sand,

Crell: It's the col'ny -- it's called Oed V.

Crell: (repeat Chorus)

Crell: On the dark, dreary sand,

Crell: It's the col'ny -- it's called Oed V.

Crell: Thank you all! Remember to tune in to the SNN Jukebox for all your musical irreverence!

Crell: All SNN Jukebox songs are aired on KNST, 93.99999 on YOUR Subspace dial:

* Crell does a backflip off the stage and lands in the mosh pit.

Best Ship

This award was presented by Russell Watt.

Russ: ok I'll keep this nice and short and sweet. The nominees are ...

Russ: Ogawa

Russ: Polaris

Russ: Genesis

Russ: and Atlantis.

Russ: And the award goes to ...

* Russ opens the holo-envelope

Russ: ... the USS Atlantis from Fleet 3 :)

Best Fleet

This award was presented by Sarah Hemenway.

eagle15: The nominees are:

eagle15: Fleet 5

eagle15: Fleet 6

eagle15: Academy

eagle15: The award for the best Flepartment goes to....

eagle15: THE ACADEMY!

Most Valuable Player

This award was presented by Larry Garfield

Crell: Hello, folks! Your senior and aging admiral here again.

Crell: Back in my day, we didn't have awards ceremonies. We just promoted people. And ha! We were lucky to get them! Up hill, both ways!

Crell: In may day I've seen the great, and the not so great.

Crell: But a few have stood out as someone worth having on your ship, even if it means kicking off that promising new ensign, no matter how cute she may be.

Crell: The nominees for Most Valuable Player are:

Crell: Hade Debaillie

Crell: Mike Ballway

Crell: Katherine Dedul

Crell: Mark Wilson

Crell: Sarah Hemenway

Crell: Mike Bourdaa

Crell: Russel Watt

Crell: Colin Wyers

Crell: Symon Sylvester

Crell: Wait, what's that? On my memory must be going.

Crell: Mike Ballway, Colin Wyers, Mike Bourdaa, and Mark Wilson are all dead, so they're disqualified.

Crell: Alas poor Ballway. I knew him well, Horatio...

Crell: So leaving out the winners of yore...

Crell: We have a tie!

* Crell breaks the award in half and hands one half of it to SARAH HEMENWAY and the other half to RUSSEL WATT!

* Russ goes up on stage

* eagle15 asks Russ to get her half while he's up there.

Crell: Both of these fine young people are on my ship. Booya! :-)

* Russ gives it to Sarah and kisses her

Best STFer

Dipper: My names is Jack Dipper, and in the next hour I'll be reformatting my computer :s

Dipper: anyway, moving on

Dipper: Best STF Award...

Dipper: What does that mean

Dipper: Well, it's a combination of the best role player as well as the person who has done the most for this club

Dipper: First I'm going to do the nominations,

Dipper: Brian Olinski

Dipper: Larry Garfield

Dipper: Sarah Hemenway

Dipper: Symon Silvester

Dipper: and No Vote

Dipper: Briefly, I'm going to chat about each of them

Dipper: Mr No Vote

Dipper: Well, where do I start

Dipper: He runs for President every election

Dipper: but, alas, is never elected

Dipper: one does wonder, though, how STF would fair under him

Dipper: Brian Olinski

Dipper: Brian has been a member of the club for some time; he was one of my first Medical cadets

Dipper: I knew back then that he would be a credit to this club, and he has been

Dipper: From supporting me as VCmdt, to actually taking the reigns, he's been reliable fellow

Dipper: and a good old chap

* Dipper ducks for the old comment

Dipper: Larry Garfield

Dipper: He's been a member of the club for a wee bit longer

Dipper: See Dipper Edict #3 for details

Dipper: *G*

Dipper: That said, he's always lent his advise to anyone who dares approach him

Dipper: Symon 'Bunny' Silvester

Dipper: Another person who lends his ear

Dipper: (pun intended)

Dipper: He's always been one to support people

Dipper: and his running of Oed V shows his leadership skills

Dipper: And I've left someone out, I know

Dipper: Sarah Hemenway - where do I start

Dipper: Firstly you were all foolish to elect her 6 months ago *G*

Dipper: No, seriously, Sarah does a lot of work behind the scenes

Dipper: she gives due thought to every decision, good or bad, that she has to make

Dipper: and always seeks out the advice of those around her

Dipper: Sarah has been one of the best presidents we have had to date

Dipper: so it's only right that she gets the award for Best STFer

Dipper: (which she did)

Dipper: Although Mr No Vote was very close behind

Dipper: maybe he'll win the election in a couple of months

Dipper: Sarah, please come on up

Best STFer Acceptance and Closing Speech

* eagle15 goes on up.

eagle15: Now, I have a speech, so I'm moderating you all again. ;)

* Dipper hands over the award

eagle15: Thanks, Dippy.

* eagle15 hugs and kisses Dippy.

eagle15: Winner's privilege, Mr. Dipper.

eagle15: Well, despite all of the work, one of the good things about being the award coordinator is that I knew who won them all a week ago. :)

eagle15: That means that I've had sufficient time to prepare an acceptance speech. If you think that's unfair, you can just consider this the award closing speech. :P

eagle15: I won this award last year, right before being elected President. Whilte it meant a lot to me then, as I was shoveling through election, uh, fecal matter, it means far more now.

eagle15: While I had an extremely active role in government then, it wasn't the same as being President for the past six months. It's been a unique experience, but despite some very low points, it's been one of the best times that I've had in STF.

eagle15: I can't take the credit for it, though, as my Cabinet has been wonderful and I feel like we've gotten a lot done for the club so far... and there's still more to come!

eagle15: I really wanted to say something with this speech, but as I tried to write it, the words just wouldn't come to me, so I'll leave it with this.

eagle15: I once thought this was cliche, but it has meant a lot to me to be given the opportunity to do some good (at least, most people say it's some good *g*) for the club.

eagle15: I've put a lot of sweat and, yes, some tears into it and I thank you all for this recognition.

eagle15: With this, I officially conclude the Hemenway administration's STF awards ceremony.

eagle15: Thanks, guys, for really summarizing into three hours just what I feel this club means to a lot of people:

eagle15: a community where we can laugh and have a heck of a lot of fun...

eagle15: but take forever doing it. :)